16 October 2012

Day 81- "My Life is Boring" - an Energy Addict Exposed

This post is in relation to a point I experienced wherein I was judging my life and my day to day routine as boring, without the awareness of the impact my actions have in living consistency and stability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my life as boring

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my day to day living as boring

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so addicted to the energies of highs and lows that I produce through thinking and occupying myself with my mind, that i have defined being here, breathing and committing to daily responsibilities that are best for me to be boring

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the energies I produce with the act of thinking wherein I become consumed and possessed by thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, future projections - all things self interested in pursuing my happiness, that when I stop and living day to day stable with being here and living self responsibility as doing what is necessary to be done, I become bored

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define life without the entertainment and pre-occupation of the mind as boring

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and my life as boring now that I do not participate in things I did in the past, such as 'partying' and spending my money carelessly 'at the mall', wherein I am walking a process of learning about who I am and getting to know myself and stopping the distractions I have allowed to keep my busy within my own limited self interest

I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to enjoy myself being here, breathing, standing within and as each moment that is here as me, embracing myself here, learning who I am as a physical being in this physical reality and to instead desire 'something more' when I have not yet even allowed myself to realize all that is here as this physical reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so dependent upon the energies I create in my mind through thinking, that I cannot imagine or even stand to be here as the breath - that which actually is LIFE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value the energies of the mind as more then being here as life, as the breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a reality as a human to be that which is distracted and occupied by thoughts, feelings and emotions as energy so much so that I cannot even enjoy being here as my body as my breath, that which is actually who I am as life, equal and one with this physical reality - with all, as all, as one, interconnected

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself as life as this physical body and as this physical reality so much that I am not even aware of 'what is here' as this physical body and as this physical reality, that i have not even begun to explore life that is limitless and unconditionally expressing itself here withing allowing myself to be separate within my mind in an alternate reality that I choose to make up, within myself, within my self interest, and not at all paying attention to myself as life or this life as all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define going to school as boring

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the constant points in my day to day living, that is here supporting me within being effective in living stability, without the unexpected ups and downs of the mind, as being boring, instead of realizing these thoughts to be that which they are - self sabotage to keep me from seeing me for real, in getting to know myself and what I allow as the experience of myself in each moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to honor and cherish every moment of breath, in being here without the inconsistent state of the mind's reality, through breathing in every moment - and letting go of the illusionary reality of the mind that i made just for me, separating myself from the life that is here... the life that is waiting and the life requiring to be dealt with.

When and as I see myself defining and thus experiencing myself and my life as boring - I stop and I breathe, and I bring myself back to the realization that it is my mind's attempt to feed the addiction I have created to energy through participating in the alternate reality of the mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories and future projections and so I do not allow myself to continue feeding this addiction and push myself to become the living awareness of who I am as life as each breath I breathe - to once and for all, get back to reality - back to earth, to face what is here and to change it into a reality that is best for all

I commit myself to stop believing the mind is more valuable then reality, and instead realize that I have created a reality in which I desire to run away from, one that is not best for all, and thus believe that I am escaping from it through participating in the other creation I have created in the mind, where I can create wonderful feelings that make me feel good and not have to face the reality of myself or this world and thus I commit myself to stop and face myself and face this world and stop the reality of the mind that is not real, and only based in self interest and get back to this ONE reality that is equally as one for all, and create a world, as myself, as this best for all

I commit myself to stop judging my life, to stop judging my day to day routine that supports me in living stability as who I am and taking care of the responsibilities that require to be done

I commit myself to stop seeking entertainment within the starting point of judging my life as boring

I commit myself to explore myself and who I am as an expression of life that is here as me as my physical body, equal and one as this physical reality

I commit myself to stop my dependency on the mind for stimulus

I commit myself to get back back to earth - back to reality, through breathing, writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application - to stop the separation that has caused massive abuse in this world with humans are too busy to care and to consumed to change

I commit myself to walking the journey to life - to investigate who I am, and what I have created as the 'who I am' here - to change that which is of self interest into that which is best for all

I commit myself to stop defining stability as boring

I commit myself to live out loud, unconditionally, in each moment, as each breath, to finally allow myself to realize what it means to actually LIVE