471: "I am Not a Creative Person" - 30 Days of Blogging - Day 5

I'm at an absolute loss on what to write about tonight. I've started this blog a few times already, with no point really sticking. Perhaps I should have saw this coming, as I did fear having to face the point of having 'no point' or 'no topic' to write about, and how I've used that in the past to not write a blog.

Though a commitment has been made, and so here some nice practice in walking through this point. How many times do we at first try, if all doesn't go smoothly, or as we expected, just give up on something? I can't even count how many times I've attempted to do something, with the initial idea, and even interest, but sure enough it gets a bit challenging, or takes some creativity, or even some pushing of self to just do it, or just write something, to get the ball rolling but sure enough, I give up.

Creativity... that is something I have never considered myself as, creative. In fact, I've made the exact statement multiple times throughout my life, "I'm not creative." I've considered myself more of an analytical mind liking structure, and numbers, and clearly defined lines - not utilizing much of the 'creative' side of the brain.

I've defined creativity as something for the artist - someone who is artistic, and likes to work with blank canvases, whereas me... I tend to like clearly outlined directions I simply can follow.

I always resisted writing class where you make a 'word web' to help the writing process, or coming up with ideas in different classes for projects, or some kind of paper. It's like I never felt natural with exploring ideas - I would much rather have something already laid out for me.

I know this is a limitation in how I've defined the word creative, and so limited who I am in relation to that word... limiting myself from even living that word.

Sometimes blogs take creativity, to explore an idea, and walk it through to see what you can create within/as the words to form a picture as a topic. Sometimes an idea isn't already locked and loaded. Sometimes you have to give yourself some space to explore what could be here, or what you could bring forth from yourself through just looking at different ideas, and deciding on a certain direction.

Creativity is not limited to an artist. Let's see the actual definition.

Here is a couple:

having or showing an ability to make new things or think of new ideas

using the ability to make or think of new things: involving the process by which new ideas, stories, etc., are created

Here's something interesting...

Walking this process of Desteni wherein one changes who they are as their pre-programmed mind, is in a way showing an ability to make new things. If we are just copies of our environment, our family, our friends, our society, if we are not actually creating or deciding ourselves who we are because our ideas, beliefs, and perceptions have been influenced from those that are around us, and that came before us, then we are not original. To walk this process is stopping those pre-determined selves, and actually make the conscious decision to be who one actually wants to be... that is actually living creativity. Because you are creating you. You are no longer living out the version of you enforced unto you by others,  rather YOU are making up who YOU want to be by yourself.

A more practical example for myself:

I have defined myself as "not a creative person". This idea has been with me for quite some time, but I don't remember the moment where I decided that. I have memories of being in school and resisting the more 'creative' activities, and from so many of these moment, coming to the conclusion that I was not a creative person. But I am not actually bound by that idea, because coming up with new ideas, and creating something original is possible... with or without that idea of myself. I can in fact correct that self-definition and decide I would like to be creative... and then practically, physically practice that skill to develop it. So in stopping a self-definition such as this, and decide for myself that I AM Creative, is living creativity!

Okay - well I'm just playing a bit here with the word, and the definition, and the actual application of creativity :)

This blog started as nothing to write about... and here I opened up who I have been in relation to the word creative, and how I've lived it... and explored some of it's potential definitions. And now a whole blog has been written.

So some practice for myself in the creative process.

We are all artists of ourselves... we are deciding each moment who we are, and who we want to be, through acceptances and allowances as our thoughts, words and deeds. We either live the person we were 'meant to be' as little copies of our parents, friends, and society... or we decide to start all over, going back to the blank canvas as we were as children... starting from no knowledge, and information, no ideas - just an absolute openness and eagerness to live and explore and express. That is where our creative process begins... creating the real self from Nothingness.

Good night.

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