321: Why Winter, Why?

I am noticing myself 'antsy' and thinking the word 'bored'. This then brings up 'winter' - winter is apparently the cause of my current problem, which is being bored and antsy. Thinking and believing that warmer weather would cure me of my experience. I realize it wouldn't, and this is simply showing me the associations I have made to 'winter' and cold weather - which is as something negative and the cause for boredom.

Firstly, there are MANY things to be done, so the issue of 'not having anything to do', as being bored, is not valid. In reality, what I am 'looking for' is something to do that will be a cause of excitement and thus energy stimulation. Something to distract me and entertain me and something 'fun' - something with a positive charge, as currently I'm accepting myself to react to winter negatively.

Now I'm not saying that I cannot do things because I enjoy them or cause pleasure or satisfaction - here I'm looking at the point of 'wanting' to do something according to an idea within my mind of how I've come to define winter and the cold weather. And so the acceptance of being 'stir crazy' and having 'cabin fever' - this I then put onto winter.

The problem with this is that I am essentially accepting and allowing myself to be influenced in how I've come to see and define winter, which is something negative. In essence, blaming winter for the cause of my experience, when I realize/see/understand fully that it's my creation and so my responsibility to sort out. From within such a starting point, I then 'want' to be in a warmer climate and then go into future projections and imaginations of how much happier, and content I would be, and overall enjoying myself much more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define winter within a negative context

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that winter is responsible for my experience of boredom and being antsy, as being 'stir crazy' and having 'cabin fever' when in reality, I see/realize/understand that is who I am in relation to winter and thus how I've come to define winter, and that is to be cold, dark, boring and with minimal things to do and thus negative

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the words of 'this is a hard winter' in justifying my experience in relation to winter wherein I think and believe that 'my problem' is due to it being winter and cold and long and dark, when I see/realize/understand that winter is simply winter, a season in which things become cold and hibernate and is all a part of the earth's process which is determined by various factors, yet is simply part of physical reality and so here I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge and react towards a certain aspect of physical reality and thus wish it were different, within thinking and believing that if it were different, then I would 'feel' different

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the earth and it's process as the season changes and to within this, judge what is here as this physical reality, simply because I have a preference of the type of climate I like, yet here realizing it's irrelevant as I am in a colder climate at this moment, it is my reality, it is what is here and so why accept and allow myself to create a negative relationship towards that which is here and instead stand within awareness of what is here, how it functions, the purpose of it's functioning, how it supports all life that is interconnected and not allow myself to exist within my own self interest as wants and desires that produce for me the best feelings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define winter as the negative polarity and summer as the positive polarity

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself into a polarity relationship with the weather and thus as Earth, as this physical reality

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to resist and fight against the winter and the cold through defining it as miserable and boring and allowing myself to feel as if I am trapped within a limited amount of things to do when in reality, I can go outside, I can go be in the sun, I can actually move quite easily within my reality because I am comfortable with money and so instead of allowing myself to whine and complain about the type of environment I am in, instead investigate all types of environments for all people on earth and find ways and solutions that put all in a position, no matter the weather, into an environment that is best for them - and so here realizing the irrelevancy of my 'preference' of the weather as that which doesn't necessarily matter at this stage on earth, what matters is that all are able to be sheltered from the weather when necessary and all are provided for and cared for on this earth

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I would be much more enjoying myself if I were in a warmer climate and thus separating myself from the responsibility I have to who I am here, in relation to the weather, and how it does not matter if it's raining or snowing, night time or day time, I must remain the same and thus not influenced by my own self created ideas about preferences and what I 'like' - that what actually matters is who I am, and thus what I do with where I am and thus not stuck in the mind as reacting to the climate

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire warmer climate within future projections and imaginations and to within this, think "I cannot wait for summer" as a way of separating myself from the moment, judging what is here as this reality and thus the weather

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a slave to reactions within my mind that say "I prefer warmer climate" and to within this think, I don't like the cold and so allow then my experience of me here to be influenced by these thoughts as determining who I am and how I experience myself, when in reality, I see/realize/understand that I am blaming the weather, something outside of myself, as the cause of my experience and thus not standing self directive in relation to all things and so I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as inferior to the weather as my reaction to the weather indicate it has the power over me to influence how I experience myself, instead of embracing what is here, removing the judgments and preferences, instead of working with what is here as the weather/environment

Self commitment/corrective statements in the blog to follow...

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