583: When The Best Decision is the One you Refuse to Make

Recently my partner and I had to make a decision I was not at all thrilled about, and in fact, reacted quite extreme to when the suggestion was made.

We were in a situation where we had to re-consider some plans that were already in place, and while being in this situation, and looking at the upcoming plans we had in place, we considered it may not work out and we may have to cancel those plans and change direction entirely. And while within me, CLEARLY, I could see the practical reality situation, what would be best for ourselves, and so best for all as we would not be putting ourselves in a compromising situation... we were, in fact, deciding to act in a preventative way, I refused to accept it!! Initially.

When we started opening up the discussion about changing plans I basically threw a tantrum. I hated the idea. I hated the fact that that was the option presented to us. I hated that that was in fact what was best, and I made it a point within myself to resist, reject, and refuse. As my words say, "I don't care - I hate that's the reality of our situation."

I held onto my original plan, as what we had originally decided months and months ago - I didn't want to let that go yet. It was like I was up against a wall because I could see clearly there was no other way. And if I continued to remain in my stance of refusal, I would only cause more harm than good because my partner didn't want to make the decision either, but he also didn't want to see me upset. So in me not embracing the situation and what was best for us/all - I would have influenced him to make a decision that would be compromising to himself, and from there who knows who else, and is that a consequence I'm willing to accept?

It took a few days for me to process myself within it all. I wrote about it, did some forgiveness, and in an instant could see clearly what was the best direction for us, and the refusal within me dropped. We had to make this adjustment to our plan, and in that accepting of that best for all reality, I was RELIEVED. It was like before I was so tense and tight within myself, with this ball of anxiety all over me because I knew if we stuck to our original plan, we would be compromised. So in allowing myself to embrace the most practical, commonsensical reality for our situation, I was relieved because it was the best decision. It took off a lot of pressure and worry. It clarified a lot of things, it was a point of support and a clear decision I could live with.

And that's what I realized about working with practical reality and what's best for all... it's not always a conflictual process of decision making. Sometimes it's glaringly obvious and easy to make and in that SUPPORTS you which supports others. The decision was easy because as soon as the decision was made, I felt better. I could relax. I could trust now that things would stabilize and 'we would be okay'. In not initially making that decision, there was still a lot of worry and fear.

So I suggest to anyone that if you have a strong reaction to a decision to change a plan or direction in your life - question it. Investigate it. Find out if there are expectations, and desires to 'keep' the original plan and the image of how that would be in your mind influencing you from seeing what would, in fact, be best for you. Ask yourself if you are holding onto a projected future play out that you want to see happen as that which is more valuable to you, then sticking to physical, day to day living, where practicality can assist greatly in navigating yourself and your decisions in life.

Practicality keeps things simple. And when you remove the emotions, and desires, and expectations from the equation, you have what is here and it's just simpler to work with what is here. The reality. there is no denying that. There is the refusal of acceptance, yes - but that is a self-created hell that I think eventually you will realize is no longer serving you.

Keep it simple. Work with what's here. Make practical decisions.




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