25 July 2015

417: A Compromise and Consequence of Self-Interest

I've been looking at this point that opened up at work last week, and it's interesting to see the different layers/dimensions of it. First there was the fear, the limitation, and the belief about myself behind the limitation. Now to the self interest. Read the previous blogs for context:

414: Hiding Out in a Limitation
415: The Belief about Self behind a Limitation
416: Get Comfortable with the Uncomfortable Experience

The following is self-forgiveness for the Self interest of wanting my ‘wants’ based on fear/emotions and so not considering others physical needs:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider others needs when a fear is driving me to make decisions within my work environment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and hold my fear of being at a high traffic computer and the potential of more interaction with people at work become more important to me than how another is physically, where I will not give up the computer station because of a fear, and not be willing to, based on another’s physical need of a taller computer station that does not cause back pain for them, give up that which I think protects me from my fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to get to the lesser traffic computer station before another, within a fear/want and not consider the reasons another person wants this particular work station

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more value and importance to my emotional wants rather than someone else’s physical needs

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care about how another physically feels as long as I get what I emotionally want, which is to stay within a fear that keeps me in a comfort zone as a limitation and so ultimately a self-interest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in such a way wherein I would put another persons physical experience in jeopardy simply because I’m holding onto a fear that I believe I cannot let go of and think that I have that right, or think that I cannot possibly change my mind about it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand in the shoes of another as the reason for their want to be at the computer station that I fear to not stand at, as understanding how they physically expreince themselves, and how giving up my computer station, and so my fear, would alleviate some pain for another and their physical body

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to do unto another as I would have done unto me, which is for others to put aside their self interest and act in a way that is best for all, and based in a practical physical reality assessment, and not only thinking about their emotional state and the wants derived from that, especially if it were to compromise my physical well-being

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be willing to give another physical relief and instead hold onto my emotional want

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my fear of having to actually change, when seeing another would benefit from me moving into the higher traffic work station

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see it is in fact best for all for me to give up my fear of moving to a higher traffic work station, as it also coincides with another standing at a work station that has a taller computer stand and so another does not have to look down as much, and will not cause as much back pain for them – and so seeing, realizing and understanding that not only moving to the computer station that I resist will support me in walking through the fear/resistance, it will also support another physically

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to practice this gift of seeing what is best for all and then acting on it – realizing that through self interest we think we cannot possibly do what is best for all, or that such a concept is so foreign, yet it is so simply right in front of our faces, if only we’d be willing to be self honest with ourselves. When we act in ways that is best for ourselves, we act in ways that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to for so long exist within self interest that I have apparently lost the ability to see and assess what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I do what is best for me in the context of self honesty and self change, I inherently am doing what is best for all, as I am equal to and one with all, and such as this situation with work, me making the decision to face my fear and give up the work station I want to hide at, supports another simultaneously within their physical body – it is a win win situation, showing they do exist 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise and create consequence for myself and others in acting within self interest, as holding onto and hiding out within a fear that is a limitation for myself and actually compromise another physically.

It seems like such a small point, yet it is a big example of the type of living we've accepted and allowed of ourselves where we do not care to see reality, and those within it, and how our actions or non-actions effects others. When we stand up and face our fears, change who we are, and change our behavior, we are standing up and changing for others equally in a way that supports physical life and living.

Self-corrective and commitment statements in the blog to follow...



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