This point of time and how only through time can we actually see/prove to ourselves that we have in fact changed.
A tendency I see I have is to get hyped up on the prospect of change or a few days of consistency or application that I am satisfied with, or when I try something new - after just a few moments/days/opportunity to make changes and I do, I then go into this absolute statement of "I have changed" and then with this - all the positive feelings as rewards that I have done 'a job well done'. Yet often times I notice, or what I have found within my process is that many points I had convinced myself that I had changed within - through time - it's proven that I have not in fact changed it. The positive energy as the 'hype of change' carried me through long enough before I crashed and burned. lol - this sounds more brutal than it actually is.
What I am saying here is that I have quite a cool cross reference for myself as the actual physical space and time as days, months or even years. I can see how, throughout time, whether my actual application of change is standing the 'test of time' - if I am consistent in the application of a certain change I've made within my life or if I was only fooling myself and the foundation of change was not sturdy enough for me to stand on and walk with.
Take for instance food. I had made some changes over a year and a half ago to my diet and the way that I ate; moving myself into giving myself foods that were more supportive of the body; cutting out sugars and sodas and basically trying to work with the physical more and supporting my body with foods that support it to it's optimum functionality. Well, a year and a half later and I can see that I did not actually create a firm and grounded starting point as the foundation from which I made these changes, because I can see the slow but sure progression back into 'ways' of eating where I am not supporting myself the best I possibly can. So this is a cool reference point for me to see - okay - so this point, my diet, what I'm eating, when I am eating and why I am eating, I can see is not 'standing the test of time' and so I must go back to the drawing board in essence and re-establish the point for myself - redefining me in relation to my diet. To make sure that my starting point is grounded in practical physical reality and not based on fears or desires or within expectations of some future outcome I would like to achieve.
Okay, so actually a couple points here - not to allow myself to get 'hyped up' on the idea of change or the few moments of making changes and instead, walk the physical process, through space and time, that will be the proof of whether I am actually standing within change or not, as time reveals who I am in relation to any specific point and the second point would be the starting point for which I am making changes, as okay, now I see that these two points actually go hand in hand in terms of the one will absolutely determine the other.
So if I am not clear within my starting point of 'why' I am making changes and how to be practical within my decision to make any form of changes, and giving myself practical, physical solutions to apply, then I/the point will not stand the 'test of time' - it will not be consistent and I will eventually fall, as the starting point is not clearly within a point that is self honest or best for all. And so instead of going straight into the 'yay for me' in relation to changes being made, yet without the time to prove whether it's real or not, walk the actual, physical process of making sure I am here and grounded and being self honest about the changes I am applying in my life.
So some cool points here for me to work with and in the next blog I will go into the self forgiveness process.
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