05 January 2014

295: The Hidden Ego

Why do we do what we do? For ourselves or for others? For a reward? For attention? For positive feelings? What is the starting point? Can you share it with others? Is there shame? Do you hide in your secret Mind? Do you fear being exposed for what is hidden within you? Is it possible to Live out Loud?

Some self forgiveness here in seeing more of the extent to the Ego I've created as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow 'wants' to determine what I do or don't do within my day to day living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the back chat of 'I don't want to write a blog tonight' as the nature of self judgment in thinking I cannot articulate anything and I am not clear enough about any particular point - there is nothing 'good enough' to write about and so within this - using excuses as to not be consistent in my application

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define certain blogs as better than others and to within this, 'want' to always write the 'perfect blog' where I hope and expect the best feedback that I can use to make myself feel good about myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the blogs I write instead of WHO I AM within the blogs I write

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as ego in wanting to present myself specifically within my blogs wherein I hope for the best feedback and in this revealing the reward system I am after for the reason/purpose I do write a blog or anything in this world for that matter

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be motivated by self interest as what I can get for doing things in this life, instead of within the principle of self honesty and self direction and what is best for all which is best for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on a positive feeling reward to do anything in this world

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live, exist and express unconditionally and thus not out to get something for myself that makes me feel a certain way or allows me to define myself in separation of myself here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself in such a way where self interest is the main motive for why I do what I do and how I exist

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate the depth of my programming as allowing self interest to be the starting point for who I am as a being in this life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow self interest to blind me within this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be more concerned about what I can get as positive feelings and self definitions from what I do instead of the real problems of this world that effect more than just myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within seeing/existing for me and me alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that to be alone as all one is to consider others AS myself and to stop allowing personal self interest to be more important or as the driving force within how I live and who I am then the interest of ALL and thus living within principles that are best for all such as give to others as I would like to receive and stand in the shoes of another and thus becoming EQUAL to and ONE with All life and thus stopping the limited existence in allowing self interest to be the starting point of life and living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to write a blog in thinking I will not write as good tonight that will not produce for me a feeling that I use to feed my ego

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist writing forgiveness about the extent of my ego

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for existing as an ego as self interest that cares more about myself than others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in wanting to hide who I am as ego implies already the inherent dishonesty I am accepting and allowing and so here I commit myself to see/realize/understand the gift of actually seeing the wanting to hide something form others as being wanting to hide from myself and thus a dishonest I can face within myself with Self-Honesty and thus remove and correct within who I am to no longer accept and allow myself to exist in such a way where I cannot stand absolute, without shame and hiding nothing and thus Living Out Loud as What is best for All.

When and as I see myself defining myself within an energetic definition as positive or negative in relation to the blogs I write, I stop and I breathe and bring myself out of the judgment as being positive or negative and do not allow myself to define myself according to what I write but instead according to Who I am within what I write as that is the truth of who I really am and thus the self honesty that is either standing within principles that are best for all or not and so I commit myself to stop writing out of the starting point of seeking a reward as positive feelings and instead as a practical application of self will, self direction, self trust, self expression, self honesty, self discipline and so, self change

When and as I see myself wanting to hide something from others, I stop and I breathe and I bring it back to myself in realizing I am wanting to hide something from myself and so here I breathe, take a moment to see what it is I am trying to hide from myself and use the dishonesty as a gift to get to know myself and thus release with self forgiveness and correct with corrective statements as I see/realize/understand that to fear exposing myself is revealing not facing myself and so I commit myself to face myself in getting self honest with myself about who I am and what I accept and allow so that I can inevitably walk the process of self change in removing those parts of me that exist in self interest as self dishonesty and not consider the whole as what is here as what is best for all

I commit myself to stop seeking rewards for who I am/how I exist/what I do and instead within the starting point of what is best for all, self honesty

I commit myself to stop defining my blogs as either positive or negative

I commit myself to stop defining some blogs as positive and to then within this, want to try and recreate the positive feeling I generate in defining it as such as to then be able to write a blog no matter what, without the influence of energy or how I define it and instead as an expression of me, an example of who I am as how I am walking my process and thus the proof of the transformation possible when one apply principles and tools in ones day to day living that are best for all





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