17 June 2012

Day 44 - Reactions and Separation as Specialness

Self forgiveness for reacting to another's words that I could relate to within my experience and the attempt to be special

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to another's words about that I believed were in relation to me, judging myself based on their words as if I was being dishonest

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as special within separation from life through seeing fuzzy haze and light around beings and objects

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire special skills such as being able to see others auras and energies as a way to be special and different from others, instead of being equal with all as one as me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my seeing fuzzy haze and light around beings and objects when I loosen my gaze to be me seeing auras and energies and within this feel special that I was able to see things others were not seeing

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am more special then others within separation when seeing fuzzy haze and light around others in my reality when I loosen my focus on the physical, instead of realizing this is not being here with/as the physical, and thus not being here equal and one with others and instead existing withn the mind as ego separating myself through specialness where Ib eleive I am better and more then others, instead of realizing others are me and thus I forgive myself for accecpting and allowing myself to attempt to separate myself from myself and attempt to be more then myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within myself as a way to defend my ego of self definition of being special within being able to see light and fuzzy haze around things in my reality when I loose the focus of my gaze, beliving I was seeing energies and auras and things others do not see

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being exposed to what I am accepting and allowing as separation within myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear exposing to myself what I am accepting and allowing within myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shame for what I have accepted and allowed within myself instead of taking responsibility within and as myself in facing myself so that I am able to forgive myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that within shame I can run and hide from having to face myself instead of realizing I am only accumulating more shame for not being self honest within facing myself as who I am as the mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse myself as life through separating myself through seeing and defining myself as more special and superior to others within believing I was seeing more then what others were seeing when I would see fuzzy haze and light around beings and objects in my reality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as inferior to others and my world and thus seek and attempt to find and define things and experience within myself and my life to make me feel more, to make me feel better, to feel special.. instead of realizing this is separation as I am here, within/as equality and oneness and thus realize there is no separation and no one more or less than another. all as one as equal

When and as I see myself reacting to another's words that relate to my experience, I stop and I breathe and I use what is here as others and their words to support myself within self reflecting and self investigating, realizing all reactions are of the mind in it’s attempt to survive and stay the same, in defending itself as what it is

When and as I see myself hiding in shame from myself as facing myself, I stop and i breathe and I dare to face all of me as who I am here as the mind – realizing only through facing it will I see what and who I am and how I am able to live solutions that are best for all as me

I commit myself to stop the separation of specialness within life within allowing myself to realize nothing is more special than life, and life is all as one as equal, thus no one is more special then another, all are equal as one and thus to define one as more special or less special then another is to separate life from itself

I commit myself to stopping the separation within life as me, within stopping myself from separating myself as life within defining myself as more or less special than another

Interesting how the word spec is within the word special – spec I all, specIall, within trying to be special, I define myself as a spec within existence, inferiorizing myself and fearing to be nothing within this world and thus desire to be ‘more’, when realizing, I am an equal spec within the I of all, I as all am here as a spec, one part of the whole