10 June 2012

Day 39-Trying to Find the 'positive'

Yesterday I had reactions to a person writing to me. I reacted to his blame and took his words personally and within this 'negative' experience, I attempted to 'find the positive'. I was accepting his reactions and accepted them as my own through reacting myself... and it was so fast from this moment I went into thoughts on how I could make this experience 'something good' within myself. Yet - I had already accepted the 'negative' polarity within myself and from this attempted to move to the positive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react 'negatively' to another's words to/towards me as defense and fear

I forgive myself for accepting and alloiwng myself to participate in the reactions of another to/towards me through reacting myself and thus believe his words to be true and then accept the experience of myself as not being good enough

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept the doubt in another as myself through questioning myself within the process I am walking

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear myself within the process I walk of self change and through this experience myself as 'low' as 'negative energy'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept this negative polarity within/as myself and from this attempt to 'feel better' through thoughts as back chats that made me feel better

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to 'see the positive' through thoughts about how the situation was, where I did not have to face the initial experience of fear as negativity within myself and try to go only into the positive

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to paint the picture within myself of the situation with another to be 'good' within the starting point of 'feeling bad' as fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as a victim to another persons blame

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify the experience of negative within myself through trying to convince myself that the situation was actually 'good' and not taking responsibility for my initially reaction within negativity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define life as who I am here to be within polarity - where I am either feeling 'good or bad', or 'negative or positive' - instead of realizing Life is HERE, constant, stable and thus no polarity. I see/realize/understand that polarity is within/of the Mind where I feed myself with energy as the 'highs and lows' of the experience I accept of myself and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept the 'highs and lows' both within myself and in this world - where some are 'right' and others are 'wrong' and some 'have it all' and some of 'nothing - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept polarity as who I am and thus accept polarity within this world instead of realizing life is EQUAL - equally here for all and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself within equality through defining myself and life to be 'highs and lows'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not question the reactions within myself and instead attempt to supress them with thoughts of positivity where I can make the situation and the experience of myself 'better' to not have to face what i am allowing within myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowig myself to believe that if I feel 'bad' I have to 're look' at the sistuation to 'find the silver lining' - instead of realizing there is no fucking lesson in situations - there is only me and what I accept and allow thus I realize that the statement 'where is the good within it' is an excuse to not have to face ourselves as this world, and the current suffering in this world cannot 'find the good', they require physical support and the physical does not exists in polarity - it is here for all, only humanity has decided to define life as 'negative/positive'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by the words of another - where I question who I am and what I do within my process of self change, instead of realizing the everyone/everything that is of the system will challenge me as I challenge myself as the system, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow fear within myself based another's fear... I stop and i breathe and I realize why I am here and why I walk with the principle of what is best for all/equality and oneness, because it is the only way real change will happen in this world, through our very nature, as we change the world will change

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doubt even for a moment that what is best for all will not change the world, instead of realizing it is the only way that it will change the world into WHAT IS BEST FOR ALL

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for not changing in this world because of the words of another - Instead of continue to do what I do within facing myself, breathing and writing and self forgiving and self correcting.. realizing it is the way we will change who we are as we are going to the source/cause/origin of who we are to change it into life - where we care about each other and this world and have the courage to live in ways that are best for all

I commit myself to stop all fears and reactions to others and their words through writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application... taking responsibility for myself wtihin this world - taking responsibility for who I am within myself and forgiving myself to be influence by fear in instead of remaining here as the breath, that is life, that is constant stable

I commit myself to stop accepting the negative within myself and thus in this world through running from it looking for the 'positive'. I realize this is not a solution to myself or this world and so I stop creating and participating within polarity, and see who I am and how I exist wtihin myself where I define and accept myself as 'negative/positive' and clear myself to be here in/as equality and oneness

I commit myself to stop all doubts I have about the process I walk, as I have already seen for myself how the tools are effective in changing who we are to beings that actually care and have realized for myself how this process will have to be walked in order to change this world into a support of ALL life and so I do not allow doubt or fear within myself based on another's words... I see/realize/understand what must be done and so I walk, breath by breath