317: Missing the Moments that Create my Future
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach positive value/energy to future play outs/projections and to within this, judge my current physical life and points that are here that I am walking, within a negative context and thus create a resistance to what is here
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more attention to my future then to the moments here as my current day to day living application as that which creates my future
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise and sabotage myself as the present through valuing the future projections as imaginations within my mind as being more valuable/interesting
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the type of future I create is a direct outflow from who I am HERE, in/as the present moment of physical reality and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delude myself in thinking I am 'planning for the future' when in fact I am sabotaging myself as my future in not being here and giving my full attention and focus within what is here for me as my present life/moment
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having a plan for the future and thus want to design one within my mind of 'what I will walk' as a way to secure the imagination of my future that I want and so within this, react when physical moments as the present do not indicate such an imagination will play out
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within separation when/as I am participating in my imagination as possible future play outs and thus not here, breathing, in my body and walking/working with each moment I have here and thus the points here for me currently as that which constitutes my life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear missing out on possible future play-outs I've imagined within my mind
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within self interest as wanting to create that which is within my mind as possible future play outs and thus attempt to hold so tightly to them that I am not willing to 'work with what is here' and thus non-reactive and instead response-able to what is here and how to direct myself within the context of what is best for all/me as the direction I will take to create a future I see is possible
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself in such a way wherein I am basically waiting for the future within my mind to play out and thus squandering the moments/time/points I have here to work with as getting to know myself and developing myself in such a way where I am giving myself every opportunity and chance to become the best version of me, as I see/realize/understand that is the point that will create a future that I am satisfied with and seeing it takes a process of accumulation, one day at a time, doing and acting and living in such a way where I support myself to be here, work with what is here and stop giving my precious energy as the life force that I am, attention and focus to the mind as future projections and instead use it as a practical tool to give myself direction with in terms of doing what is necessary in this moment to get to a future moment I see is possible to be created, yet not valuing it as more than what is here and existing in a way where I'm waiting for it, as I realize I will always be waiting as it's never 'here' because I'm not allowing myself to BE HERE
and so here
I commit myself to stop giving attention/focus to my mind as future projections and imaginations and instead stop and breathe and bring myself back to myself in each moment as the physical presence of myself here and thus work with what is here, embrace what is here and in doing so, gifting myself with the opportunity to create myself in such a way where I become directive in all possible future play-outs as I decide HERE, in this moment, who I am and what I will and will not accept and allow and that is one who is flexible and able to adapt and change, yet remain constant in 'who I am' as not defining myself according to how things go and instead always able to respond to any situation/possibility/potential points/play outs as self directive and self honest
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