Kristina's Journey to Life

Here are the self corrective statements in relation to the previous blog : When and as I see myself justifying as back chats within my mind of 'they do it, I can do it too' in relation to accepting and allowing myself to go into emotional reactions - I stop and I breathe and I wave a red flag here for myself as I see/realize/understand that I have gone past the point of stopping the reaction and within this, am excusing my reason as to why I am right to participate within the reaction and so within such a stage, I commit myself to stop myself immediately, do not accept and allow myself to justify what I am participating in and take back the responsibility I have to who I am here and what I accept and allow within each of my moments so I commit myself to stop myself when I see I am emotionally reacting and to instead breathe as to calm and stabilize myself and to ultimately take responsibility for what I am accepting and allowing within/as me in firstly allowing the reacti...

This blog is a continuation of the points mentioned in the previous one - 'Why is the World Not Changing' . I saw this point within myself; seeing how I was justifying my behavior, my reactions, my emotional possessions and in reality, my unwillingness to stop and change myself, based on other's behavior and reactions. The problem within this is obviously depending upon another to change - defining myself according to how another moves - thinking and believing 'if they are not doing it, I don't have to either' and so nothing changes because the responsibility is, through my own acceptance and allowance, abdicated and separated from me here and placed unto/as another. This will never work. Obviously, if you want something done, you do it yourself. If you see changes 'should be made', you make the changes. If you are waiting for someone else to act, why not YOU be the example. What simple principles to apply/live/walk that produce real changes with...

One of the most crucial points in this process of change is realizing that you are alone within your process and that the one point that is holding everyone hostage in terms of not willing to actually change is through the excuse and justification that "well, no one else is." And so we sit, complacent, and unwilling to move ourselves to take the lead in bringing ourselves to a point of change. "No one else is changing, why should I?" and "No one else seems to care, I'm not going to either." And we see exactly what this creates - a world of individual bubbles, walking around ignoring each other, ignoring the problems with our world, ignoring the suffering that happens on a daily basis, due to our neglect to change anything. What is the starting point of this unwillingness to step up and be the change, in justifying 'no one else is changing'? Spite - it is spitefulness that drives the individual to say 'fuck it' to the world and only...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get caught up in future projections within my mind as imagination and in this, not be here with/as my current reality and current points/responsibilities I am walking I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach positive value/ energy to future play outs/projections and to within this, judge my current physical life and points that are here that I am walking, within a negative context and thus create a resistance to what is here I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more attention to my future then to the moments here as my current day to day living application as that which creates my future I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise and sabotage myself as the present through valuing the future projections as imaginations within my mind as being more valuable/interesting I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not re...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use my days to the best of my ability I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to come to expect a struggle within my days in terms of moving myself to do what is necessary to be done I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist the responsibilities I have to school, my process and other priorities due to not being fed the positive feelings/energies that I find in other activities I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value positive feelings as energy within certain activities more than physical movement as action within what is necessary to be done in a day I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in at the slightest of resistance to the responsibilities within my day I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only want to do something if it produce positive/good feelings for me I forgive myself that I have...

Here are the self corrective statements from the self forgiveness in the previous blog : When and as I see myself resisting 'new things' as that which I am not familiar with or not comfortable with, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself out of the resistance towards this 'new thing' and instead breathe until I am stable and self directive within the direction I will take as I see/realize/understand that I will have to step outside of my comfort zone as that which I am familiar/comfortable with to be able to expand myself and my ability within things - also realizing here that is how I become effective within that which I am not yet effective with - practicing, doing it, working with the 'new thing' that I initially resisted and so I commit myself to stop any resistance that might come up when facing a new point, a new understanding, a new skill or application and instead I commit myself to direct myself through within realizing the common sense solution is...

I noticed myself in a 'mood' tonight wherein I started having reactions towards myself and my overall experience was gloomy and heading into depressive, which is a self sabotage point to not support self within standing up and not accepting and allowing 'experiences' to influence ourselves and to instead, take a stand, give direction to ourselves and find out 'what's going on'. So I started to apply self forgiveness, unconditionally, for how I was experiencing myself, what thoughts were running in my mind and through this, eventually got to 'the point' that was influencing me. That is the thing, this experience of not wanting to move ourselves or going into a 'low' state is simply a diversion from keeping us from seeing what is actually going on, 'behind the scenes' so to speak, about what we are hiding from ourselves as the self acceptances of self interest and self limitation. My 'mood' was a hiding place to not see wh...

I took a slight detour from the previous series I was walking in relation to where I placed my security, confidence and assurance. For context, you can read all the blogs in the series: 304: Is there a Cure for Insecurity? 305: CONsequences of Insecurity 306: Removing the Illusion of the Beauty System 307: 'The Look' of Limitation 308: The First Mistake we Make in Relationships This blog specifically is the self corrective statements for the most recent blog within this point, 309: Giving Me Security When and as I see myself looking outside of me here, for a sense of security, confidence and assurance through/as a relationship with another, in their words or actions, I stop and I breathe and do not allow myself to continue participating in this search as I see/realize/understand that I am missing the point of me here as the point that is to be established as self secure, self confident and self assured and so I commit myself to stop myself when/as I see myself e...

An interesting point today at work - where I saw myself react as 'taking personally' a guest's words and tonality - where he 'seemed' to be reacting to my timing and requested something from me and said "I would like this quickly" I reacted negatively as taking this personally - like he was personally attacking me and within myself, felt bad, felt defensive and wanted to go straight into blaming him - like internally I wanted to go to war with him What is interesting is that I have been working in this same environment for quite some time and have worked with this point before in terms of facing all sorts of people and their reactions and requests and emotional outbursts and so I have, in the past, not allowed myself to take anything personally or react, to not let it 'get to me' or simply to let the point go in realizing 'they' are not reacting towards me 'specifically', that it's not really about me and so I realize th...

Okay - so an interesting point here that's emerged and connects to the last few posts. My previous post was in relation to this ' acting out ' I see I was and have been accepting and allowing, specifically here in relation to my parents. Now the reason this is interesting is because what I see I was reacting to within myself and then projecting onto them, this anger and frustration, was specifically in relation to the previous points I had been walking in terms of defining security as something outside of myself - specifically my 'looks' and also within relationship . The ' looks ' point is what I was going into as defining myself according to my looks, becoming dissatisfied, or should I say, reacting negatively to 'how I looked' and within this, becoming frustrated, angry, annoyed and lashing out on my parents. Partly because I see there exists still blame within me towards them for conditioning me to care so much about how I look. I realize this...