previous blog - in relation to not speaking more direct with others - is a fear of someone reacting negatively to me if I were to speak direct about what I see, and the programming in which most are enslaved as the idea that we must sugar coat things. That we cannot possibly say something that might cause someone to feel anything other than satisfied and right within who they are... that we must protect each other's ego. At least for me I can see this has been an acceptance within myself, my family, and my friends. We sugar coat things, say things to make someone feel better, we never push each other for self-honesty, and self-responsibility - even if that means we start to see the reality of ourselves and pop the bubble of delusion so many of us exist within wherein we are always right, the victim, and someone else is to blame.
I realize that it's more important to stand and express what is best for all (myself included), then to have someone like or accept me. Liking someone has no weight in the consideration of life in equality and oneness. It's not about liking - it's about what is best for all. It's about self-honesty, about self-responsibility, about who one is in relation to all of life and whether that one point stands in honoring life, or disregarding it.
To me - the fact that we sugar coat our communication to not hurt or upset someone is why gossip exists. We cannot say straight to someone's face what we are really thinking - whether it's a valid observation or not. We rather go behind their back and talk to someone else about it because that way - we are not challenged. We are not pushed to be self honest. We can hide out in our self-righteousness and the ego of consciousness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being more direct with people in what I see
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear someone lashing out and turning their anger towards me, and blaming me for being direct in what I see through communication
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the idea that we cannot be direct with each other, and must sugar coat what we say to each other
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume someone will just react if I speak to them direct in what I see
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear someone not liking me because of speaking direct to them
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care more and give more value to someone liking me than what is best for all... and what is best for all is to not sugar coat things that only validate each other's ego/idea of self and instead shatter the ego/idea of self that does not consider life in equality as what is best for all
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being the focus of someone's hate and anger
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself in how I communicate with others as a fear of that other's will reject me if I speak to them directly about what I see... bases on the idea that we must protect each other's feelings as if they are real instead of realizing that the raw, brutal self-honesty of each one is where each one must go to ultimately free themselves form the enslavement of ego in which self-interest is preserved, and what is best for all is denied
When and as I see myself fearing being direct about what I see, and hesitating to speak to others about it, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this fear is based on an idea that someone could get upset and turn 'against me' and here I realize whether they do or not is not up to me, but who I am remains and the principle of what is best for all remains and so I commit myself to stop allowing fear to direct me, and others being upset with me direct me and instead I commit to direct me within what is best for all and that is not suppressing myself through fear or ideas of the mind and to rather speak what is here, express what is here, within the starting point of my own self-honesty
When and as I see myself fearing others not liking me because I may speak direct to them, and they wont like it, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that such a fear is based in the value of someone liking me more than what is best for all and I realize that that is not in fact accurate as a valid point within me - I commit myself to thus give more value and attention to that which is best for all - consideration of life in equality wherein we do not allow fear or gossip or frustrations to be projected outward onto others as blame, and instead stand self-responsible within who one is and as what one can contribute to the betterment of life - from the small to the great
When and as I see myself sugar coating my communication with others, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize and understand that this serves no one and actually is a disservice to humanity as currently humanity is trapped within the ego of self as consciousness wherein we want to be validated and accepted for who we think we are, never challenged or questioned, but simply accepted without investigating who we are and how we've come to be who we are. I commit myself to thus challenge myself, and others, to see who one is in the face of self-honesty - in asking ourselves why we do not consider life equally, why we would gossip and blame each other, why we would talk behind each others backs, why we do not do unto others as we would have done to ourselves, why we remain in problems instead of offering solutions. I commit myself to challenge and question consciousness as I see what it currently exists as does not serve what is best for all and so I also commit myself to be of service to life in equality and oneness in speaking direct about what I see, not suppressing or hiding but laying it out before all so that we can come face to face with who we've accepted and allowed ourselves to be and thus start changing it into one that considers life in equality and oneness as what is best for all
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