pain in the past two months, this time being the most severe.
The reason I am bringing this up in a blog is because while there is the physical symptom of something going on - my body processing something, and causing pain, there is other dimensions existing as well, which is the mental one.
Often when I get sick, or don't feel absolutely stable within my physical body - even if it's the slightest bit of being uncomfortable, I usually react quickly. I will get frustrated, and feel like a victim, and feel like I cannot possible move to my utmost, and must simply give in to the experience, and in a way 'fall' within myself, like a giving up. Now obviously if there is physical pain, then yes, I'm not going to be able to perform to my optimum as the body is going through something that requires perhaps a slowing down, a resting, a moment to give it time to do what it needs to do. But I will react in the experience, almost like resisting it in a way, and make it more of a problem then it needs to be.
I also tend to go to 'worse case scenarios' whenever my physical body is going through a point. So for instance today, with my stomach, I jumped to the conclusion of 'what if it's stomach cancer' or 'what if it's a tumor' - immediately the fear steps in and directs the thinking about 'what' is going on.
I have learned to work with my physical body in a supportive way where whenever there is a physical point that comes up (say a soreness, or pain, or discomfort) to, while at the same time supporting in aiding in the pain/soreness/discomfort physically, to also look at the immediate reactions that the mind comes up with in relation to the body. It is quite a cool cross-reference and reflection into oneself in terms of the relationship we have with the body.
So what can I see from the experience of an upset stomach today? There is fear - fearing of getting stomach cancer, fear of having a tumor... fear of something being wrong that could lead to death basically. So fear of death as well. There was just a slight bit of energy attached, though nothing overpowering or where I felt paralyzed by the fear. So here are the mental aspects of the relationship with my body that I have... that I can work with in self-forgiveness, and self-commitment statements.
There was another dimension I saw as well - specifically in relation to my physical body and the discomfort. So my stomach... in looking at why there is pain there... what could I be contributing on a mental, and being-ness level, that would produce the physical pain? Who am I in relation to my stomach? I can see that there is a relationship to my stomach of disgust. I've always had reactions towards my stomach, always defining it as a bit 'too big', and always desired it to be smaller. Whenever I've gained weight throughout my life, that is where the weight goes, and I've hated this in a way. So to me, my stomach has been a 'problem' area for along time in my life. You could even say I've been upset about what my stomach looks like for a long time. And so what do I create? An upset stomach. lol - perhaps it's not that straightforward, as there could be many factors involved to manifest the pain in the stomach. However it is clear, for me, when I look within myself as who I am in relation to my stomach - I've always had a negative relationship to it.
And so this is how the physical body supports us. It reveals who we are in relation to different parts of our body, and our body as a whole. For me specifically - pain in the stomach is revealing fear dimensions I have towards my stomach, and overall my physical body, as well as who I've been in relation to my stomach, as resisting it, judging it, defining it as 'too big', and desiring to change it, and for it to be different, which I equate to as being better, thus implying it's wrong, or bad.
I wanted to share this point tonight because I think we often jump to worse case scenarios in our mind when it comes to our physical bodies... we are in a way a slave to what our body does, as it is superior to us in that without it's functions, we would die. 'We' don't consciously, or within awareness keep it functioning - it's automated itself to do that. It breathes for us, it pumps our hearts for us, it moves the blood throughout the body - it does everything it needs to do, that's necessary to be done, in order to keep us alive. And we often pay no attention to it... until it's too late. Or until the pain and discomfort is so much that it is impossible for us to ignore.
The body is our greatest gift. And if only we slowed down enough to start paying attention to what it's communicating, perhaps we could save ourselves from serious consequences. The body can take a lot, but it can also only take so much, and the amount strain we inflict on it through not only our diets, but also our emotional and feeling energy existence (our anger, spite, jealousy, envy, frustrations, sadness, desire, self-interest, judgment, etc), it's a resource we can only take from for so long. Eventually it will deplete. Remember this... your mental reality as your thoughts, emotions and feelings, can only exist through the substance of your physical body. And so when your react within energy - you are use physical energy as your body, to fuel that reaction.
So a shout out to the body, and an example of how we can better align ourselves to our physical bodies - paying more attention to what it is communicating, and showing us to support us in this process of self-awareness. Self-awareness isn't just a state of mind or being... it is the realization that you are a physical body, in a physical reality, and what that physical reality consists of is a magnitude of life being expressed in ways we have never conceived. Our human body is a universe itself... the space between our atoms is the same distance between the stars above. We have a whole universe within/as our bodies that we are responsible for, and so best we start taking notice, providing care, and taking that responsibility we have to ensure we are creating the utmost environment for it to function. And so as we give, we receive in that the body will sustain us to continue living, and expressing.
That is my rant for tonight on our physical body... cherish it as the gift it is, and use it as it support you to realize who you really are.
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