Yesterday I was discussing the definition of Creativity as how I've defined it, and so lived it throughout my life. Opened up from nothing, in that I didn't have a topic to write about, and the experience within that of not really enjoyable because I always defined myself as not a creative person... and so the practice of just playing with ideas and creating something from nothing I've always resisted, and basically defined myself as unable to do that.
Though realizing it is something that one can develop - it is simply a practice, or a skill and the more you allow yourself to do it, the better you become.
So limited in the definition of creativity, and how I lived it, was a limitation placed unto myself. So that is where self-forgiveness can support in forgiving self for limiting self AS the word creativity... and input new instructions as how one can live the word (self-corrective/commitment statements).
That is what this blog will be... the forgiveness process, and the commitment process to continue to develop this skill as I realize I am only limited to not be a creative person through my own acceptance and allowance.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as not a creative person - as defining it to be something that I'm not 'naturally good at' and define myself as more of an 'analytical mind'.
lol - before I continue... analytical mind... ANALytical mind, anal. typical. That is interesting because to be anal is like to be rigid, or strict, or not able to move beyond certain limits... like it MUST be this way and this way only. So in accepting myself as an analytical mind, I'm shutting myself out from other possibilities, other forms of expression, other ways of learning, and seeing myself, and the world, and so being typical even, because I'm not willing to be original, I'm just wanting to stick to the same 'ol, same 'ol. ok - let's continue.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself, and others, as being either a creative mind or an analytical mind as those are the only two possibilities one can be - nothing more or less, just one or the other, and limit myself to just being comfortable with one side, as the analytical mind and so in this, create a resistance to being more creative (look at that... creating a resistance, I am creative after all lol)
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define creativity as being something only an artist can do, or as only a certain type of person is like an artist, or a musician, or a poet... limiting the definition of creativity to be only a few types of expression
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist being creative as in playing with ideas, and coming up with something out of nothing... using my imagination, or my thoughts directively to make decisions as to how to express or communicate something
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use memories as being in English class, and never liking 'word webs' as a writing exercise and to within this, use it to define myself as not a creative person, just because I didn't like this one exercise and to from this, forever define and so limit myself as not being creative
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see creativity as something that is separate from me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see creative as something outside of me - something different from what I am
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define creativity as something that is loud, and expressive, and to within this - define myself as more quiet and reserved
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am not creative and within this belief and idea of myself, never attempt to practice or develop the skill of being creative... which is simply playing with ideas, creating something out of nothing, being innovative and willing to investigate, explore and discover self in various aspects of life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to do anything that I have to be creative within such as formulating anything without direction
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rather have some direction or idea of 'what to do' or 'where to go' within certain things, and if I don't, resist doing it all together as defining myself as not creative enough to do it
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thus essentially be a follower rather than a leader in that I would rather have instructions then make up my own - I would rather be told what to do, then decide for myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to verbalize the statement "I am not a creative person" and in this, solidifying the self-definition through my words
When and as I see myself defining myself as 'not creative' through thoughts, or words, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that in thinking or saying 'I'm not creative', I am separating myself from living the word, and limiting myself in being able to live creativity. I commit myself to realizing that creativity is not limited to one type of person, and if you are not it, you are not it and rather realize it's a skill one can actually develop.
I commit myself to developing creativity in allowing myself to start from nothing when writing blogs, not having an agenda or topic on hand, and rather explore the space and see what is here... playing with various ideas and willing even to make mistakes as a miss-take... a blog that doesn't work, and so starting over.
I commit myself to stop seeing people as either analytical minded or creative minded and instead open up both to all people, and so myself, as all have the potential to harness, and nurture both aspects of themselves as there is a place and practicality for both expressions
When and as I see myself resisting activities that I define require some creativity, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that through defining myself as 'not creative' I have shut myself off to certain things as the belief that I am not able or capable of being creative. I commit myself to stop limiting myself and instead walk through the resistance and practice the skill of being creative... willing to explore different ideas and directions of thought
When and as I see myself wanting to follow directions rather than lead myself in how I've defined myself being more analytical than creative, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that in not allowing myself to be more creative, I am essentially allowing myself to be a follower, and not leading myself within my own creativity as directing myself within projects, or blogs, or even interactions with others. I commit myself to practice leading myself rather than wanting direction, which really is what this whole Desteni I Process supports with drastically and so I commit myself to continue to walk my process, developing my ability to be self-directive within thoughts, words, and deeds - Living Creatively - not allowing myself to succumb to direction of emotions, and feelings and instead direct myself according to principles that are best for all/me
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