14 August 2014

360: The Pattern in us All that Manifests War

Yesterday I woke up to a message saying that one had made a comment about me that did not portray me in the best of way. I reacted. In writing out the point for myself to see what I was reacting about specifically - here is the self forgiveness that came from it:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react negatively when X said to me that Y mentioned to them that I never clean up after myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into defense mode when finding out that Y mentioned to X that I never clean the bathroom, because in this instance I didn't, I had forgot to before leaving to work, and so upset with myself for not slowing down and ensuring I was taking responsibility for myself in every area of the house, which includes to clean up after myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within the back chat of, what’s Y's problem, why do they do that, and then become so angry and frustrated within myself that 'they' are not more understanding in terms of me cleaning up after myself, and take notice that I've in fact been doing it, yet this one time I missed it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do what is expected of me, as an equal in the house with my other roommates, from the starting point of getting recognition, instead of it being a common sense, practical application that supports in an overall efficient and harmonious living environment for all, and so taking responsibility for my equal participation and use of the house I share with others and so not needing others to recognize 'what I do' but simply doing it because it's necessary to be done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think Y has got a problem because they reacted to me not cleaning up after myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not clean the bathroom after I used it because I was in a rush to get to work, instead of applying myself in such a way where I have plenty of time to get ready for work, as well as clean up after myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to perfect myself within always ensuring I clean up after myself as to make sure that I am not causing unnecessary reactions within other people, as I see, realize, and understand that others do not have the same point of reference towards their mind and thus are more inclined to become reactive towards such points and so here seeing my responsibility to direct myself in such a way to not cause unnecessary reactions in others since I know this type of situation can trigger reactions, I can prevent them through applying myself diligently in my own responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become upset at the thought of Y defining me according to not cleaning up after myself in this one moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerless in relation to how others define me or react to me, instead of not valuing or defining me according to how others define me and instead me valuing me enough to define myself and thus defining who I am within what I accept and allow as the actions I take/how I live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interpret Y mentioning to X that I never clean up after myself as an attack against me, and thus take it personally, instead of stopping and breathing in that moment and understanding where Y is in their process in relation to their mind and thus in that moment, bring me back to me here, as breath and see what is moving within me as the responsibility I have to the situation 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take personally what others say about me or think about me, instead of no longer allowing that to have power over me in terms of engaging in thoughts and back chats that suggest “I am not that” or “I am this” – here realizing it’s not about making statements in my head about who I am, but instead LIVING them as my physical expression of who I am, as what I accept and allow each moment and thus becoming living words as then I am no longer feeling like I have to speak words of who I am, it is instead clear in my LIVING application/expression

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed with the idea of others having an idea of me that I do not think is accurate and to within this, think and believe me getting worked up is going to change anything – instead of bringing myself back to myself within realizing that only I can define who I am, and I can do that through how others define me, yet it’s not necessary and it’s absolute separation and abdication of the responsibility I have to ME, as then I am giving others the power to define me and thus abdicating the responsibility to who I am here, in every moment - so here a consequence to giving others the power to define me through giving value to how others see me is I then react when their image of me is not what I 'like' - which is a point that can be prevented through bringing back the power within me to define who I am according to principles that matter and support me to live what is best best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to attack back when I feel attacked as taking things personally, and make a personal attack towards someone else – instead of realizing this is the same pattern that is the justification for war, and so here, I stop my participation in the patterns that support war within this existence, as I no longer accept and allow it within me as the existence of my mind/body/living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist becoming and standing humble in relation to not getting caught up in how I think others see me, such as Y becoming upset that I did not clean up after myself, and instead let it go and understand others and their process and realizing it’s not about me that Y is so upset, yet I make it about me when I take it personally – and so I stop playing the energy game of taking things personally, and dishing out what I think has been dished to me, and instead stabilize myself here within/as breathing and direct myself to become responsible for all that I do, here realizing that is specific actions I can take in this type of situation to prevent such reactions within others in the first place

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define others based on one moment or one action or one statement they make and to within this, become upset when it’s done unto me, instead of correcting this point as doing unto others what I would like have done unto me and that is for others to understand that mistakes happen, and that one moment or one incident or one statement does not define who one is, and to thus have understanding in terms of where one is, patience within allowing one the time to change any points within oneself, and thus giving this as I would like to receive







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