28 November 2013

280: Opening Up Inferiority and Superiority

What I'm going to do here is support myself to write in the moment.

A lot of times I come prepared with something to write about - with an idea or point specifically I want to write about, or more so a point I hold onto as to ensure I have 'something' to write about, as another way to get this over with, to make sure I have something so I'm not feeling like I have nothing to offer or.... it's like a long pause here and second guessing myself in this moment, wanting to stop and try something else. Always looking for the best way to place myself as these words, or how can I do something 'better' that will make me more comfortable within how I think I am presenting myself to others and how in turn others will respond/react to me and of course, always wanting the most desirable outcome

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to prepare and present myself as these words in a way that makes me look the best and that will give me the results of others liking and accepting me and forming ideas about me that are positive and might make me feel good

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to accept this definition of myself that suggests I require validation and acceptance from others, in fear of others responding negatively and so always want to be in a position where I am most likely to be accepted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall in not standing within principles, in fear of causing reactions within others where others might see me in a negative way - to actually give up who I am within principles simply for a pleasant perception of myself by others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself and who I am and how I express myself within fear of others seeing me negatively

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to accept myself as requiring acceptance and validation from others and to within this, compromise myself, my life, my process and principles that stand within what is best for all simply to feed the insecurities that suggest I require others to accept me

I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted myself fully and absolute as who I am, here as life as breath, in every moment, and so seek this outside/separate from me here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate moments of not accepting myself in allowing myself to fall into the trap of thinking and believing 'if I do this, others will like and accept me' and thus live my life according to this idea instead of living according to principles and stopping the idea that I require others to give to me anything as if I am not absolutely capable of living fully and for real here as myself in each and every moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dare seek outside of myself what I have suppressed within me which is self acceptance, self love and self enjoyment as getting to know myself, my expression, my self worth equal as life and what I have to offer not only to myself but all life equally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within inferiority throughout my life as seeing myself separate and less than others and thus less than and separate from life - not giving myself the opportunity to stand up, dust myself off and start walking, facing all of me as who I am as an equal part of life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others as inFEARiority and to within this feel powerless and out of control and then turn and want to project this experience towards others where I can assert my power and control as superiority - becoming the abuser I've blamed for my inferiority and thus continuing the cycles of abuse we have accepted as the inequality of life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse others and thus life within standing superior to others, within a starting point of inferiority - thinking I am not good enough and thus need to reach this higher platform to prove to others I am not that which I am accepting of myself as inferiority, yet as my words and actions and experience imply, I have accepted it as myself - I have accepted myself as inferiority and from this negative starting point - desire, wish, hope and move myself to become superior in a way thinking this is a solution to my experience instead of realizing it is the trap of consciousness as ego, stuck in polarity and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the simple solution of stopping polarity as inferiority and superiority through becoming/standing/realizing/living EQUALLY with and as as myself, with and as ALL others - none more or less then me here

When and as I see myself participating in the polarity game, sustaining consciousness as the limited expression we have accepted as who we are, standing in separation of what life really is, equal and one - I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to the in and out breath as my physical body and stop the energies or thoughts or back chats or emotions or feelings I am participating within that support this idea of inferiority or superiority and instead stand in the moment, with what is here as the physical, equal with all that is here as me, within and without

When and as I see myself attempting to assert my superiority unto others, I stop and I breathe and bring myself back to the moment, as myself, as the breath and do not continue such participation as I see/realize/understand that my desire to be superior and project this unto others is coming from within/as a starting point of FEAR as inferiority and thus I do not allow myself to play the game, the polarity trap, and instead give myself the time and space to investigate where I am accepting and allowing myself to stand inferior to others and thus inferior to life and so I commit myself to walk the process of removing the ideas of separation as inequality within/as me as inferiority/superiority and instead bring myself back to physical living and life where all are equal as the matter that is here and that as who we really are

I commit myself to investigate and rid all relationships within/as me that exist within the polarity of superiority and inferiority - to no longer allow the abuse of life as superiority and the suppression of life as inferiority and instead give all life a chance to express, to be here and to stand with and as each other as the equal value and worth we have - seeing beyond the limited view of the mind that cause conflict and friction and thus a life of dis-harmony as inequality

I commit myself to align myself to/as equality and oneness as a principled living within the tools of writing, breathing, self honesty, self forgiveness and self corrective application, to no longer believe in and accept myself as separate from any form of life as inferior or superior and instead take the stance that is truly best for all within/as equality and oneness

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