10 December 2012

Day 96 - Fear of Communicating with "others" = Myself


















I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear communication with others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not speaking directly with another about myself and my experience of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold back myself as self expression in communication with another based within and as fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide myself from myself as another in communication based within and as fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate fear of communicating with another through accepting and allowing myself to not speak directly and in honesty and openness about myself in what I experience, within and without

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by fear in communication with another through NOT communicating in self honest – as being real communication

I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to speak in each moment without judgment of myself and fear of how others will perceive me if I am self honest about myself, and my experience

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for the experiences I accept and allow within and without, as the patterns I have lived within and as throughout my life – fearing to expose this to myself and thus fearing to communicate it with another fearing that they will do unto me what I have done unto myself – judge me

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that fear of communicating with another is merely me fearing to communicate with myself

I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to develop real communication with myself, through writing, and self honest self forgiveness and self corrective statements, as a way to be honest and open within and as myself to then be able to develop real communication as another – as I have developed it within and as myself first

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to desire real communication with another without realizing it’s real communication I seek with myself

I forgive myself that I Have not allowed myself to be unconditionally honest and open with myself in self communication, through writing and self honesty and self forgiveness, to begin to trust myself again in getting to know myself and allowing myself to stop the patterns in which I allow to direct me – trusting myself to direct myself

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to never question the communication between myself and others that are always based within gossip and judgment and acceptance of what this world currently is – instead of allowing myself to develop real communication – in being honest about who I am and how I have experienced myself and how I have defined myself and how I am currently walking myself out of the preprogramming as the personality I have developed – in sharing of myself unconditionally to really get to know myself and to get to know others as my equals – sharing in our equal and one process of life on earth

When and as I see myself existing within fear of communication within another – I stop and I breathe and I get myself out of my mind and back into my body and into this physical reality to be fully present with myself and what is here as my environment as I realize fear in the moment is directing me and I am not directing myself and so I stop my own self enslavement to fear and dare myself to be in the moment, self honest, and open with and as another

When and as I see myself desiring to have ‘real communication’ with another I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to the realizing that this is me that I am missing and seeking to communicate with and thus I realize that to seek outside of myself is to separate myself from myself and so I give myself that which I am expecting to have/engage with in another – real communication and thus I commit myself to communicate with myself in really getting to know myself, as my mind, as the patterns and personalities and characters in which I have developed within and throughout my life in which I use to define myself and protect myself within and as fear – I commit myself to investigate and get to k now myself with writing and self honest self forgiveness – to see within and as myself as who I am as my thoughts, words and deeds, to really get to know who I am here and how I’ve come to be the ‘way that I am’ realizing this is the only way I can experience real communication with another – with myself first

I commit myself to realize that change must first happen within myself

I commit myself to realize that what I seek from/as another – is that which I have not given/lived as myself and thus I commit myself to stop seeking in separation of myself here and gift myself to really live and really communicate with myself

I commit myself to get to know myself as who I am here as thought word and deed

I commit myself to investigate myself in self honest to see all of myself – not hiding or suppressing any parts of myself that I have defined as less then or unworthy or that I have judged as ‘too bad’ to face – I commit myself to face all of me to get to know all of me – to then be able to live out lout, in self honest, unconditionally with/as myself with/as others

I commit myself to stop allowing fear to direct me

I commit myself to stopping all fear in realizing it is not real

I commit myself to give myself back the power and authority to direct myself in each moment without fear but always within the consideration of what is best for all

I commit myself to change myself through daily writing, self honest, self forgiveness, self corrective application and self corrective statements, to re-script myself into a being that lives/breathes/expresses and stand eternally always what is best for all


Featured Artwork By: Marlen Vargas Del Razo