04 December 2012

Day 95 - Manipulating with Words

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to read into other people's words

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine there is something else being said in other people's words

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume to know what other people's experiences are in relation to me, and believe there words have a hidden meaning behind them, instead of simply being here physically with the words spoken and not attach anything else to them - simply be what they are as the words spoken

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to other people's words with ideas and thoughts of my own about 'what they are actually saying'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe people speak words they don't actually mean and thus believe there is more they are saying behind the words they speak

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project my own self acceptances of having ulterior motives and hidden agendas as manipulation in the words I speak, expecting a certain reaction or playing a game in looking for a specific response, onto others, in believing they are doing to me what I do to others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume others are not speaking directly with the words they speak, instead of taking responsibility for myself in how i Have accepted and allowed myself to speak in such a way as to manipulate another to have a specific reaction to my words

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be manipulative in the words I speak in seeking a reaction and specific response to others

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to seek energy from my communication with others in expecting them to respond to me in a way that makes me feel good and gets me high and the ideas of what they are saying, within feeding my ego

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest with myself in speaking with others, in not being here and playing games as manipulation in seeking a reaction or specific response to others and in turn fear this being done unto me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I cannot trust others and the words they speak instead of realizing I do not trust myself in the words I speak

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use words as communication within self interest in seeking specific responses from others in hope to get a reaction that causes an energy reaction within myself to sustain the self definitions I have towards myself and in relation to others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the words I speak through using them for my own personal self interested gains

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from others as the words they speak through projecting myself onto them in blaming them for existing within how I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within using words as a tool of manipulation

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not speak directly, clearly, here as me within each breath to ensure I am not speaking words in dishonest as self interest in expecting a response or reaction from another, yet simply being here, speaking, communicating, sharing myself unconditionally without the need and expectations from others

I forgive myself that i have not yet allowed myself to realize what it means to be the living word

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use words as a way to separate myself from myself and others through abusing them to cast a specific spell to entice others to do or act or respond to me in a way that gets me my energy fix of positive feelings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interpret others words as if they are speaking in code, saying something more then the simply physical words they express, within attempting to making something more for me to gain some kind of power and control over - instead of taking the words that are spoken just as they are

When and as I see myself reacting to another's words in thinking, believing, perceiving they are saying more to me then the words they speak - I stop and I breathe and I realize this is in separation, within indulging in my minds interpretation and self projection of myself as what I have done to others in using words to get a specific response or reaction that suits me keeping in tact my own self definitions of who I am, so I stop and take self responsibility and support myself to allow the words to be what they are, simply in the how they were expressed without hidden meaning that is only my own creation and thus I commit myself to be here in communication with others, to not allow my mind to wonder into ideas about what else is being said, and simply accept the words as they are

When and as I see myself projecting myself onto others through thinking, believing, perceiving they are saying words specifically in attempts to manipulate a certain reaction or response from me, as I have done to others, I stop and I breathe and I realize the dishonest in self projection and abdication of self responsibility in what I have accepted and allowed within and throughout my own life and thus I commit myself to take responsibility for myself as the words that I speak and remove all self interest as expectation of how I want others to respond to me, I allow myself to simply speak words without a hidden agenda and allow others words to be innocent in not having a hidden agenda

I commit myself to purify myself as the living word to no longer use words as a means to gain power and control over manipulating others in reacting or responding to me in a certain, specific way and instead commit myself my allow words to be an expression of me, within self honest, as each breath

I commit myself to stop using words within self interest

I commit myself to stop manipulating myself and others through using words to gain a specific response or reaction

I commit myself to allow others words to be simply the words spoken

I commit myself to stop attempting to find something more then what is here as this physical reality

I commit myself to forgive myself within self responsibility for the games I have played within myself and with others as words

I commit myself to stop seeking an energy high from others words

I commit myself to stop using words to have a positive feeling within myself

I commit myself to realizing what it means to be the living words - self expressive in each moment within self honesty

I commit myself to stop all self interest within and as me

I commit myself to exposing myself to myself in how I have accepted and allowed myself to exist, within thoughts, words and deeds, to face the truth of myself and to forgive myself and I commit myself to doing this with daily writing, self forgiveness, breathing and self corrective statements

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