25 March 2011

Day 2

Breathing is the best medicine. Although... I see how easy it is to become overhwelmed with a situation. I am in Kentucky, with my partner - who is meeting my dad and his family - who I have not spend a lot of time with - and I have experienced nothing but major reactions today. Projections of judgments onto him, fear of being judged for who my family is, becoming nervous is moments and acting from this starting point - in stead of simply being here, breathing, allowing myself to trust myself in the moment.

But I can't help but ask myself, why am I here? What was the point? Is this a decision that supports me unconditionally and others.

It can be if I allow it to support me. Use this experience to see where I'm reacting and what it is that is causing this - why do I allow this within myself - where does it originate?

Here it is - THE experience I have - is this chaos outside of me. Showing me the chaos within. It's coming from all directions and I feel 'taken a back'.

So slowing myself down to get back to simplicity - and keeping myself here for consistency. Supporting myself. Bring it back to breath. Write it out. Let it go. Keep myself in the moment - knowing that is what I am able to 'handle'. That is where I find myself stable.

Till tomorrow