Kristina's Journey to Life

“I know, I know...” This statement is something I’ve said in my life recently. In a way it’s always been a part of my life. You can see it as that point within you of seeing, knowing, and understanding that perhaps there is something you want to change , that you could change, that you are not in fact living your utmost potential, that you are in fact not giving it your all, that you are in fact not directing yourself as effectively as you could, and yet…. despite You knowing it, you just don’t do anything about it. So it’s that point of ‘knowledge is useless without application.’ At least for me I can see this is how I have and am currently living this statement, “I know, I know…” Like don’t remind me, I already know what I’m not doing, I already know what I could be doing, I already know I’ve giving up on myself, I already know I’m not changing , I already know I’m not living the best version of me… I already know I’ve believed I just can’t do it. So the “I know, I know” i

Have you ever had that experience where you wanted to be upset with someone? Where you wanted to actually fight with them? I can see for myself in moments of conflict with another, often times I can see it’s a conflict I am perpetuating. Meaning – I am the one who is feeding the conflict within me with my thoughts, I am not letting it go, I am not being forgiving, I am standing my ground in a self-righteousness of blame and revenge. Which is strange, isn’t it? Why would we want to be in conflict with another? Do we like to fight? Do we like to create chaos ? I do see the relationship between who I am within conflict with others, and the existential reality of war. Why do wars exist? Because I can see within my own nature, war exists, and as within so without – equal and one. So I realize that it is my responsibility, as an individual within the whole, that I must stop the inner wars to begin stopping the outer war. I mean we must all do that, which is how wars will cease to