The first part, or first dimension of this particular 'giving up' outflow was when one has a negative reaction to a particular event/situation in one's life, which is what you can read in my previous blog.
The following is the Self-forgiveness in relation to the 2nd dimension or part 2 of the initial phase of activating the 'giving up' system, which is the back chat/voices in the head that we participate in that fuel the giving up decision, where we began justifying why it's okay for us to give up; the reasons and excuses we give ourselves to take that particular direction/path/road.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react negatively to my initial negative reaction to the change in another's interaction with me as the back chat of “it’s too much”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in the back chat of “It will never work” in relation to another and the relationship with them and the overall points I face within myself in relation to that point
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as inadequate in relation to the point I face with another in thinking and believing and defining myself as incapable of handling/taking on/directing myself through/as the point and so instead want to just give up
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the back chat of “why even bother” in relation to a relationship/interaction with another within/as a reaction – wherein I think and believe the struggle and conflict I face within myself in relation to another/the relationship is not worth it – that it’s not worth it for me to go through such a point as not allowing myself to see the bigger picture and instead only focused on that one moment as the one reaction which I think and believe is ‘too much’ and I cannot direct myself within/as it
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the back chat of “it’s better if it ends” in relation to another/a social relationship in thinking and believing that ending it/giving up is the solution to the points I face within myself in relation to the point, instead of stopping, breathing and finding solutions that do not involve me just giving up because I think there is nothing I can do or that I am inadequate/incapable, and rather see how I can change as the ‘doing’ which can be done to bring the point to solution rather than giving up/acceptance of conflict
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within/as the back chat of “I can’t do this” in thinking and believing that the reactions I face in relation to another is more than me/superior to me and I am incapable/inadequate of walking through as self-directive principle and so rather think and believe that I cant do it and so I shouldn't do it as giving up on myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the back chat of “they don't want this/they don't care" in relation to another as a justification in which I use to manipulate myself to giving up, which is the direction I have already allowed of/as myself to go, and instead of taking responsibility for this, allow such back chats as ‘it’s them who wants to give up’ so that I can give up and absolve myself from facing the reality and responsibility that I am in fact the one giving up
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the back chat of “what’s the point” in relation to another/social relationship and the points I face within that in thinking and believing there is no way I can ‘get out of it’ or find stability within a moment of inner conflict
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within/as the back chat of “what are we doing” as a way in which I manipulate myself into giving up in relation to another/a social relationship – as questioning the interaction/relationship as if ‘that’ is the problem, instead of seeing ME as the active participant and so self-responsible for my own creation as the interaction/relationship
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up within the relationship in moments of reactions, as the back door in which I’ve created to be a quick fix for problems I think I cannot change/find solutions for, instead of realizing that what I am facing within the interaction/relationship is ME, and to want to give up is to give up on ME, and so instead of allowing this – rather investigate what it is I am in conflict with, as it exists within me, and so find solutions, stay and face ME instead of running away as giving up
When and as I see myself existing within/as back chats in the nature of giving up and justifying why it’s okay that I give up on myself within/as a relationship/interaction with another – I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that in a moment of reaction I have the tendency to not see the big picture, and not see that I can stabilize myself and see more clearly, and so I commit myself to not allow myself to participate in the giving up back chats as it’s a way of running away from me, not realizing it’s NOT a solution and in the end I will be faced with the same points, as they exist within/as ME and so I commit myself to not participate in back chats as giving up, and instead breathe until I stabilize, write out the points I am reacting towards and as, and find the practical solution as the corrective application I can live to change who I am in relation to the point I am reacting to in relationship/interaction with another.
Will continue in the next blog with the 2nd interview in this series...
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