I am currently busy walking the EQAFE Atlantean Series "Giving Up". I highly recommend this series, as well as any series on Eqafe, but specifically the Atlantean's as they present a step-by-step guide on 'how to' understand and correct specific emotions/feelings we face throughout our lives.
So the first interview was insightful and supportive for me, because although I was able to identify the 'giving up' thoughts that were coming up in relation to a specific point I am facing in my life - what I was able to see more clearly through listening to the interview was the trigger of this giving up play out within my mind which came from an initial reaction to a point in my life that was negative in nature, and from there I activated this 'giving up' construct within/as me. It was quite a heavy experience this past week as this specific energy/emotion was coming up as wanting to give up. That is why I am so grateful for the Atlantean series, as it supports you to see ALL the dimensions in relation to a particular point you are facing; what is behind it and what to look for, specifically, as to dismantle system within you. Like I said, I am currently busy with the first part of the interview series and the practical application suggested. Below I will share the self-forgiveness that came from that, and in the blogs to follow I will share the process in which I am walking in relation to letting go of this energy of wanting to give up.
So although this particular 'desire to give up' came up in relation to just one point I am facing/walking in my life - it is something I can relate to in various aspects/parts of my life, throughout my life, and as described in the interview, one of the cunning ways in which we manipulate ourselves into giving up - usually at the moment of transcendence - when we are at that pivotal point in our process, we will want to give up. So suggest to read the following out-loud and see where you have allowed yourself to give up at the moment just before the 'big break' where if you would have allowed yourself to stick with it just a little longer, you could have freed yourself from the constraints that facilitate the belief that you must just give up.
Phase 1 - Part 1:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react negatively to another's change in their interaction with me as them distancing themselves from me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react negatively to another's change in how they interact with me as being disengaged from me and to within this – think and believe they are not interested in me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define another as no longer being interested in me as a negative thing and to within this, place so much value on whether or not they are interested in me, that I lose sight of me being interested in me
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that in me placing so much emphasis and importance on how others see me/interact with me that I do not acknowledge the starting point of such an experience, which is me not caring or having any interest in myself and so I seek it out in another
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as not interesting
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the back chat of "they are not interested in me” as a reaction to another changing their interaction/behavior with me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the back chat of “We have nothing in common” in thinking and believing that without energy as positive experiences, we have nothing to keep us interacting/relating and so validating and trusting myself within energy in relation to others
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having positive energy when interacting with others in thinking and believing that without it, we have nothing to keep us interested and interacting
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that relationships/social interactions require energy as positive feelings to exist
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to explore a relationship/social interactions with others without emotions and feelings as energy to play a role, in a way, hiding my real self for an experience with another, instead of getting to know the reality of each within/as relationship/interaction and thus getting to know another and myself for REAL
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself within back chats of abuse wherein I diminish myself in such a way wherein I tell myself I’m not good enough in relation to others, as comparing myself to them and them as more than me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not yet see, realize and understand the equality inherent within myself and others
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having created relations with others based on energy as interest and positive experience and to think and believe that without the energy experience, we will not have anything in common/any reason to interact; that we cannot possibly remain in any kind of social interaction/relationship
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throughout these back chats acceptances and allowances, to fear being alone/without friendships/relationships/social interactions – in thinking and believing without energy as positive experience, we will cease to exist, and because of that I will be alone, and so ultimately fear being without another/a relationship/social interaction/alone with myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I am always alone, at the very core and origin of my existence as who I am and will always be is alone, and that to fear it is to fear my very existence, and the nature of existence, as all being ALLONE and so I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to embrace this aloneness as the onenenss and equality of life
When and as I see myself participating in negative back chats in relation to my relationships with others as reacting to ‘what we have’ together and what we've created as our relationship/social interactions – I stop and I breathe and I ground myself in that moment. I see, realize, and understand that this initial negative reaction was due to a change another made within themselves, and exposed where I was in relation to that, as also participating in a positive energy, and so instead of going into judgement about what has happened/what I've allowed within/as myself in relation to my relationship with others and where I am at the moment, to rather learn from the mis-take and see what is required to change, instead of projecting failure unto my relationships with others, to instead take responsibility for myself within/as the social interactions/relationships as a part/extension of myself and so I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to participate in back chats of the mind in relation to social interactions/relationships not working out, and instead ground myself in the physical and work it out in writing to see what is going on, remove any fears or reactions that may be triggering the back chats, and to instead find practical solutions for myself in terms of aligning myself back into my self-stability, without the need or participation of positive feelings or negative emotions and I clearly see relationships based on energy cannot stand/last as well as if I see that if my social interactions/relationships are in conflict, It is because I am in conflict within myself and so to take responsibility for that point, as myself before placing importance or priority unto any relationship/social interaction outside of myself here
Will continue with part 2 of this first phase in the blog to follow...
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