20 July 2014

354: Changing Who I am in Conflict with Co-Workers

Here I am continuing with self-corrective statements in relation to the forgiveness written in the previous blog and in relation to a reaction I had towards a co-worker which was actually a gift as seeing me in the mirror as another.

When and as I see myself reacting negatively to a co-worker as their words or voice tonality or how they look at me, I stop and I breathe and stabilize myself through breathing until I am here and clear and no longer participating as accepting the reaction within me as I see, realize and understand that to react to another is to project myself unto another and thus not actually seeing my co-worker, but seeing me through the eyes of the mind as a projection and so here I commit myself to not accept reactions within me towards another, and instead in that moment, bring it back to myself, as I bring myself back to me as breath, and realize, see and understand that there is a key for me to see here as the reaction to my co-worker as who I have been throughout my life and how I have expressed myself and so I commit myself to use the gift of another as the mirror of me to see who I have been throughout my life to thus be able to take responsibility for my self and my part within/as this world that contributes to the whole as humanity

When and as I see myself reacting to a co-worker, through back chats of "I already know this," as they suggest solutions in how to create a more functionally effective work flow and environment I stop and I breathe and bring myself out of the reaction of/as my mind and back to me here, as breath and ground/stabilize myself into/as my physical body as I see, realize and understand that this back chat as a reaction is me not HEARING, through not being HERE as my breath, the words of my co-worker as the solution to the problem in which we have/had in terms of running into each other and so instead of reacting as thinking I already know better, to simply here(hear) him out and APPLY that which I know or that he suggests because I see, realize and understand here that if I did actually KNOW what he was saying, then I would have been applying it and we would not been running into each other and so I commit myself to stop allowing my ego as wanting to be right get in the way of becoming humble and applying that which I know so that the knowledge becomes practical in creating a situation that is best for all, and no longer as knowledge in the mind used to feed the ego of self interest as just wanting to be right/know better and so I commit myself to stop distracting myself through the knowledge and information of the mind that I then use to react to others as back chats of 'what I know' and instead work with the physical and stand as the solution in terms of applying myself as that which will create the optimum work environment for all

When and as I see myself going into defense mode in relation to my co-worker as taking personally his words and behaviors, I stop and I breathe and ground myself back into my body and out of the reaction of taking his words/behavior personally, as I see, realize, and understand that while he may be doing that deliberately, in terms of attempting to diminish or belittle me, that is irrelevant as the responsibility is to ME and who I am in that moment, and so I commit myself to practice understanding and actually SEEING of what is here in terms of why he was doing that and to not react, as I see that when I react, I am not actually seeing HIM or his words or his behavior, I am seeing my own mind's fight to be right and better and to basically win the war I am orchestrating within my own mind towards him.

I commit myself to stop seeing others words and behavior towards me as an act of aggression as an act of war, and to within that, want to retaliate, as I see, realize and understand that that is the cause of accepting this world as the wars we perpetuate - I realize the responsibility I have to stopping the outer war is to first stop the inner war and so I commit myself to take full responsibility for the wars I wage within my mind towards others, and to no longer accept this as an acceptable state of being/me and to instead, move myself to a point of understanding and direct seeing as to why some speak and act in ways that they do, and so to within this, not take it personally as making it all about me and instead starting seeing others in how their life is and the experiences they've had that molded who they are and thus can see there is no war accept the one I conjure up within my own mind.

When and as I see myself reacting to my co-worker as his words/behavior as me being stupid or inferior or somehow diminished, I stop and I breathe and bring myself back to stability as the breath, as my physical body and no longer accept and allow myself to participate in this giving away of my power as allowing another to determine how I experience myself - I see, realize and understand that no one can determine or define who I am or how I experience myself unless I allow it, and I no longer allow it as I see, realize and understand also that that is me separating me from the responsibility I have to who I am here - within this there is the statement that if I am allowing another to determine how I experience myself, then I can blame and thus I don't have to change, and this is some serious self-sabotage as I realize I am fully able and capable of making my own decision in terms of who I am and what I accept and allow of/as me here, and so I commit myself to no longer allowing myself to be inferior in relation to others or to allow the idea of another and how they perceive me to determine how I experience myself - I take full responsibility for that in this moment

When and as I see myself living out the statement that I am in fact inferior and diminished from/as the words of my co-worker, such as becoming clumsy and uncertain of my movements when around him, I stop and I breathe and ground myself within/as my physical body as getting a grip on who I am and in that moment, stopping my acceptance and allowance of my own self-judgment that I am inferior - I realize, see and understand here that even to say 'he makes me feel inferior/diminished' is another smoke screen as not seeing, realizing and understanding that I am the one actually making the judgment about myself, I am the one actually diminishing myself and so here, I stop and no longer accept and allow this of myself - I commit myself to get a grip on myself as grounding myself in the moment of reactions and not allowing myself to live out/manifest the ideas/projections of how others perceive me as being inferior, and instead make the decision within myself, as that moment, of who I am and I commit myself to stand up for/as myself as no longer allowing myself to be in separation of others or myself, but instead here, clear and fully functioning and participating with physical reality

When and as I see myself participating or expressing myself in ways in which I've projected here on my co-worker, as talking down to others, belittling them, questioning their common sense and overall, standing in judgment of them, I stop and I breathe and bring myself back to my body and back to the realization that this is the cause/source/origin as to why I reacted to my co-worker in the first place, as placing myself in the polarity position that I first accepted and allowed of myself - to judge others, to diminish others, to not see, realize or understand within compassion why they are the way that they are and how their life and experience and environment and situations molded and shaped who they are, and so I commit myself to no longer allow myself to be so quick to judge and question others and instead question myself in these moments as to ask myself why am I not seeing with compassion and understanding as to what is really going on here as the words/behavior of another and so I commit myself to start seeing for REAL in terms of understanding/seeing the bigger picture as what shapes one to be who they are and thus stand equal to and one with others/their life as the process in which they've walked to develop their mind, and beingness, realizing and seeing that I was/am subject to the same life conditions and so here I commit myself to give as I would like to receive as treating/seeing/interacting with others from a starting point of compassion, understanding and equality as doing unto them as I would have done unto me.






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