26 June 2014

346: Projection, Compromise, and Consequence

I recently was interviewed for a new job, and got the position. I was slightly hesitant about it at first because it would be a change and essentially me stepping out of my comfort zone, yet after the interview I saw it was the potential necessary to get me moving in terms of my financial position.

There was some fear in relation to speaking about this new position to my current manager, at where I currently work, as having to limit my availability and basically changing my schedule around. I thought she would take it personally and I am putting her 'out', like in a bad position/situation. Although, I did not consider, until now, that there are so many people at my current job that are wanting to work more and the shifts are simply not available. So it can actually help her with accommodating more people and take off some pressure she might have in terms of people looking to her for more shifts and wanting to work more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking to A about limiting my availability within projecting myself onto her that 'she' will take it personally instead of seeing, realizing and understanding the practical, physical reality that it will allow her to accommodate more people by not needing more for myself - she will have those shifts I am no longer able to work to give to others who are wanting them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take things personally within my life that weren't ever really about me, but decisions made that were in consideration of what was practical - and through taking things personally within my life - project this of myself unto another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe it's "bad" and "wrong" for me to have another job as what is best for me at this stage and to have instead allowed this nature of allowing fear to direct me within the decisions I make - to compromise me in the past, as to limit myself in my own ability and opportunities to grow and expand.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself fearing and judging my decisions within what is piratically best for me, as supporting myself within making financial decisions that allow for the most potential, to stop and breathe as I see, realize and understand it is inherently a pattern of self-compromise as limiting my self within opportunities that can potentially support me more effectively at this stage in my life/living.

I commit myself to take responsibility for my own nature as when I am taking things personally, when and as I see myself taking things personally, I stop and I breathe and I investigate what about it I am reacting to as what I 'think' is being done unto me by others and to release the pattern with self forgiveness and self corrective application as I see and realize and understand that if I continue to participate as accept and allow myself to take things personally, I will just, in my abdication of self-responsibility, project it unto others and manifest more consequences within my life and relationships with others wherein I will have these added layers to any future decisions or considerations I make

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