13 December 2013

286: Using My Mind to Distract Myself

Distractions.

That is a point I'm continuing with and going to look at the various ways I've distracted myself as a way to not face myself, to not be here but to simply entertain myself, constantly looking for a form of reward. The reward is usually as positive energy, feeling, experiences, ect - but it's not just a looking for this - it is an attempt to hide from something, to avoid something, to postpone something, to run away from something. Simply put it is an act of fear, fear of facing self and the responsibility I have in this World - of who I am and what I have created and so, what I accept and allow.

So first distraction I see I use within my life for this point of deliberate avoidance/escapism is obviously - the mind. The Mind as memories and fantasies and images and desires and future projections. It could be a wish of some potential outcome to play out or a past conversation I've had with someone. Usually when I'm allowing such a point of distraction within me, it's because I'm generating some positive feelings/experiences within it. So it's just another form of addiction I've allowed within myself in seeking the almighty high. I mean - when I have negative reactions or recall negative experiences with others - I am not too willing to go into my Mind and replay the moment, unless it's based in a dimension I make up of 'what I would have done or what I would have said' that somehow makes me mightier than them or makes me feel better - so another point of self medicating - yet not really looking at the actual problem, only soothing the ego that took something personally or was offended and thus blaming another.

So the Mind is the ultimate distraction and I see how I use it to distract me from moments of breath, of doing, of living, of being here, of being aware, of taking responsibility, of changing actually. Every time I allow myself to participate in what's going on in my mind - as a movie screen in front of my eyes, I am distracted from the actual reality that is physically here and slip away into the illusion - so that is separation. The Mind is not bad or to be blamed or to be feared, it is in fact a tool we use, yet we have enslaved ourselves to it as we've become automatic in accepting what's going on within our Minds; our thoughts, our back chats, our imaginations, our fantasies, our future projections, our memories - we actually think that is who we really are and in that, enslaved ourselves to it by accepting it. And in this acceptance of it - we are distracted from what is actually necessary from us within each day we have here - we are distracted from the real matters as hand; what is going on within ourselves, what is going on within this world, what is going on within our relationships - basically we are busy distracting ourselves from seeing the truth of who we are and what this world is and what we have done/become.

The mind is the distraction. The breath is key. At least the starting point in slowing down to then be able to make our way through our Mind as we get to know what we've constructed ourselves to be as just mind constructs as programs that we run on, automatically - the 'if this, then that' equation as what is going on around us - triggers a reaction within us, and we act 'without thought', yet it's the Mind and we are too busy simply following this program to realize we are actually distracting ourselves, from what is actually HERE. The moment I allow myself to participate in the mental reality that is my mind, is the moment I've distracted myself from what is necessary to be done in this world, the responsibility and opportunity I have in one moment, and that is to establish myself as self directive, self aware and walking within principles to produce a world that is best for all, within me and on this earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself from myself within and as the Mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind as a point of distraction, as a way to avoid the responsibility I have within this world, as who I am and thus how I interconnect and interact with what is here and thus what this world actually is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself from the responsibility I have within this world through participating in the mind in seeking energy as a high of positive feelings that is simply another drug I've created a dependency on as thinking I 'need' it in life and that without it, I will not live or I will not be happy or I will not enjoy life

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to want to participate in my mind in defining living without the mind and the positive feelings I can generate within it as something I cannot live without, in thinking life will be boring without it

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to participate in creating and sustaining a world that I do not want to be in, where I would rather go into the illusions of my mind where I can make up all sorts of realities that make me feel good and then become satisfied with that and thus not care about what is actually going on this world because I'm too busy distracting myself from what is REAL and what is my responsibility to correct

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind as a point of distraction instead of as a tool in which I can use, instead it uses me to resource energy from my physical  body that I could put to good use through living actions daily that can produce a world that is best for all - yet I'm too busy distracting myself in putting my time and attention and energy into the mind

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself from my physical breathing, as being here, self directive and self aware, when I participate in the mind as memories, fantasies, back chats, imaginations and future projections

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind to distract myself from what is real in this world in beLIEving what is in my mind is actually who I am

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to become lost in distraction as that which is my mind as a way to not have to face the fact that I am responsible for what this world reflects as who I am within myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind as a distraction to not have to face myself, who I am and how I live and the reality that I'm not actually living when I am participating in the mind

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to give value to the distraction that is my mind

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to judge my mind as a distraction, instead of taking responsibility for what my mind currently is and my relationship towards it and how I use it - which currently is a form of distraction to postpone, avoid, hide out and run from the reality of myself and the reality of this world and thus the responsibility I have to face and change me/it

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to want to distract myself with my mind as a way to exist in fear of changing - in taking responsibility for me and all that is here

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind as a distraction from what is actually going on within me - my real experience and what actually exists within me as the layers of memories and reactions that I've stored within me/my physical body/my mind to keep my preoccupied enough to not question anything of me or this world

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind as a distraction from my daily responsibilities and moments of breath where I have opportunities to be self directive and responsible and actual free in choosing who I will be, what I will and will not accept and allow of myself and thus no longer allowing myself to live a life of hiding out in the distractions of my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can continue to distract myself with memories and images and fantasies and future projections and desires within my mind and not face the consequences I've already created of not being here and doing everything I can with the time I have as each and every breath, to do what is necessary to be done to bring through solutions to my life and the life of all

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to be too distracted by my mind as self interest to care to see what is going on in this world, what exists, how it functions and thus getting to know it to then be able to bring about solutions

When and as I see myself becoming distracted by what is going on within my mind and thus not here, as the breath, I stop and I bring myself back to breathing and out of the distraction that is my mind when I participate in memories, imaginations, thoughts, future projections, fantasies, desires, etc as I see/realize/understand that when I am not here, breathing, then I am participating in the mind and thus distracting myself from what is actually real and necessary to be done in this world and the process I must walk to bring about change within and without and thus I commit myself to stop being busy distracting myself through allowing participation within the mental reality that is my mind and instead choose to walk with principles that support me in grounding back into the physical reality and out of the illusions of the mind, in this I commit myself to the decision to face myself, as this reality, as what is here within and without to thus see the problems that require solutions and so as this, I commit myself to become self responsible for who I am here in each moment, what I've created as me and thus as this world



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