21 January 2013

107 - Fear of Death


A fear of death came up within me when having to go through some medical procedures

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within fear anytime I have a physical pain or discomfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my physical body as experiencing myself as inferior to it as at any moment something could manifest within and as my physical body that could end my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear no longer living instead of realizing I have never lived, as I have never been here, as I have always existed within my mind separate from the actual physical reality, and thus the fear I see is a fear of losing my mind – the internal reality as thoughts and internal conversations and personalities and characters and memories and self definitions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the moments of allowing fear of death to exist within me, in that moment no realizing that instead of actually living, with is breathing, I am instead fearing about no longer living – realizing quite the fuck up that actually is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts of fear of death

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define physical pain and discomfort with death

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trap myself in fear of death

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to fear my physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the consequences of my participation of separation from/as my physical body, as I have never actually breathed AS my physical body, I have given value to who I have defined myself within/as my mind – such a limited part of reality, the mind – such a small space to exist

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my physical body in acceptingwho I am’ to be within/as the internal reality as my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest the consequence of no awareness within/as my physical body, of how it functions and exists here in each moment, how each single cell as a part of it works together within equality and oneness to support me to be here, and within this, no consider, honor, appreciate or even acknowledge this within real awareness of walking each moment of each breath and to instead exist within the mind as my thoughts, feelings, emotions and memory, to be consumed and entertained by the energy I produce of ‘highs and lows’ – separating myself from life, proving I am already dead

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my physical body and no longer being here as my physical body, instead of breathing in each moment to actually wlak the correction of this fear – stopping it by living it, breathing, being IN my body, AS my body and no longer allowing my mind to distract me from who I am here as my physical body in/as equality and oneness with/as this physical reality and ALL that is here

I forgive myself that I have never allowed myself to realize that I am my physical body, my physical breath and that is all that is required to live a life of worth to ensure all physical bodies that are in fact equal and one are being cared for and living for real and to allow thoughts as fear of death to distract me from living this realization, then I am existing and supporting self interest within this world as it is within me and thus I stop my self interest as fear of death and face the reality that is here where millions face death from preventable causes and so I commit myself to stop the unnecessary death that is happening on a global scale with a system of Equality - where all are valued as equal and thus supported to live as equals within this realizing all fear of death will end because we will be in fact living equally - no more survival, no more competition, no more self interest

I commit myself to stop all fears

I commit myself to stop the fear of death

I commit myself to realize the contradiction of fearing to lose my life as thoughts in my mind in a moment where I could/can be breathing equal and one with life - actually living

I commit myself to walk the correction of separating myself from myself with breathing in each moment

I commit myself to stop allowing fears to direct me in moments as distracting me from being here, in this reality, as this reality, in/as my physical body

I commit myself to stop participating in thoughts, feelings and emotions as a need to be consumed and distracted and simply allow myself to actually live, as each breathe, HERE in/as self expression

I commit myself to become the directive principle of myself here

I commit myself to walking the journey to life, through self investigation as writing, self forgiveness, self honesty, self responsibility, considering myself as a physical being in this physical reality as well as all other physical beings here that in fact make up a part of the whole

I commit myself to stop fearing life through participating in fear of death

I commit myself to stand equal and one with life that is here

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