Day 87 - Every Decision is Deliberate

Here looking at the realization that every decision I make in a moment is always deliberate - where I am faced with a choice within myself and recently seeing how I choose self interest.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, instead of allowing myself to walk through and get done all the points I require to address in a day, allow myself to ‘do something else’ wherein I see the deliberate decision I make to not take responsibility for myself within the responsibilities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately make the decision to not stand within myself and walk through each commitment I have given to myself, within seeing how I will in a moment, decide within myself that I would rather do something else, something as a form of distraction or entertainment, in seeking ‘feel good’ experiences instead of remaining steadfast, stable as each breath, to direct myself within each responsibility throughout my day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of seeing the choice I have in a moment of breath, of either give into a desire of positive feeling such as entertainment versus continue taking care of the responsibilities I have in a moment, always make the deliberate decision of dishonesty to turn a blind eye to my responsibility and instead decide to entertain myself, instead of realizing how I am actually diminishing myself within such a moment as I am implying that I will not stand up for myself and the commitments and responsibilities I have made and instead shut myself down in creating conflict within myself, as I have seen/realized and understand how and what the consequences I create from such a decision which is always internal conflict and self judgment, because I am aware of what I am able to do and am in the process of realizing and living what I am potentially able to do and thus in that moment, not gifting myself to expand myself in showing myself what I am actually made if… realizing within all of this it is a matter of will and a simple decision – stand up for myself as Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize the self interest I am existing within in not making the decision that is best for all in such a moment of deciding to do something that makes me feel better instead of what is necessary to be done – perhaps here I can look into how I define responsibilities of being ‘hard work’ within a negative context and thus desire the polarity of a positive experience to feel good – instead of realizing the more important things I could be doing within this world, within my life, within each moment I have HERE – to investigate myself and expand myself and challenge myself and actually do something of worth in this world, like educating myself on what the hell is going on here and finding ways to live solutions that are best for all/me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, in moments of deciding within self interest to entertain myself instead of taking responsibility for myself within the priorities in my day, believe I have all the time in the world and that somehow there will be a magic solution in sorting out myself and this world – instead of realizing it must be within and as me, alone, in that I am the only one that can change me and thus I must live this change, and giving into the self interest desire to be entertained to feel good within the energy experience of the mind is not changing and is not considering what is best for all – as it is not within the awareness of who I am here and the responsibility I have and have committed myself to be/live/share in this life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the gift I have been given to be here in this life, on this earth, as I have the opportunity to walk a process of rebirth, eradicating from myself all that is of self interest and abuse to the whole of humanity, and thus purifying myself to be that which is best for all, life as self honesty, self forgiveness and self directive principle and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in moments of deliberately deciding to entertain myself instead of being responsibility for myself and my life and what needs to be done, squander the gift I have been giving by not living to my full potential

I commit myself to living the realization that each moment I have a choice to stand up for life or settle for my self interest and in this I commit myself to always choose what is best for all

I commit myself to deliberate decide to change who I am to be that of an effective human being in this world, that truly cares about myself and all life, to not give in or give up in accepting the self definitions within my mind

I commit myself to always make the deliberate decision within moments as awareness of my breath to be that which is best for all

I commit myself to stop seeking entertainment in the desire to 'feel good' and within this commit myself to define responsibilities as 'hard work' within a negative energy that I then attempt to run from in seeking it's polarity

I commit myself to slow myself down with/as my breath to see who I am in each moment, and what decisions I am making as I realize they are always deliberate

I commit myself to always consider what is best for all

I commit myself to eradicate of myself that which is of self interest, as the mind's need for entertainment and to feel good, and thus commit myself to walk my life with commitment and purpose to establish within myself equality and oneness as what is best for all

I commit myself to educate myself about this world, to get to know the ins and outs of it, to see how it functions in order the realize the solutions that are able to practical change our world and within this I equally commit myself to investigate myself, in getting to know the ins and outs of who I am and how I am and the nature I have accepted as myself, to find solutions within myself and my living that reflect a life that is best for all within this I commit myself to walking the desteni i process, applying the tools of writing, self forgiveness, self honesty, self corrective application, to show myself that i am capable of living more then how I've accepted myself to live in this life

I commit myself to honor the gift of being here, to walk the commitments in creating a world that is best for all through/as an equal money system - to bring life back to life and honoring all life as equal

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