23 February 2012

2012: Fear of Sharing Equal Money: Facing/Forgiving/Correcting

Writing:

A couple weeks ago I was at work. I was talking with a co-worker about ‘the system’. I don’t recall the specifics about what he was saying or what I was saying – I only recall my experience in relation to offering a solution.

In general we were talking about how the System – the economic System – is basically a brutal system that does not consider what is best for all. It was messed up and rough to exist in such a system. There was a sense of ‘this is how it is – oh well’ within it – and I saw myself want to offer a solution – such as an Equal money System.

I imagined myself saying, “That is Why I stand for an Equal Money System – as it takes on the core point of why this world is the way it is” – but I didn’t. I resisted. I went into fear – or, I allowed fear to exist within and as me – and so I stayed silent.

I immediately went into regret – as I saw that this was an opportunity to offer a solution to another that they might not have considered themselves. That perhaps they could see the common sense within what the Equal Money System actually is/could be.

But, like I said, I was afraid. Afraid of what he would say or how he would react. I can see that I have defined others hearing about the Equal Money System – within reaction. Meaning – who ever I talk to about an equal money system – they will laugh at me, and tell me it’s impossible and that I will face resistance from others when sharing the equal money perspective.

It’s like I have accepted that people will reject it – and so within this I can see that I fear them rejecting me.

There was also a point of self – doubt – wherein I did not trust myself to express what the Equal Money system is – that I was not clear on all the points and thus feared them asking a question that maybe I could not answer which in turn would leave them to think the Equal Money System is invalid, as I could not explain it in a way that made sense to them.

This also brought up the fear of my internet presence. Fear of my immediate reality, those that I am not connected with online – would find out my activities online – and judge me for it.

BECAUSE = I have accepted and defined my participation within the Desteni Process and my Standing for and Equal Money System to be that which others will resist and thus not accept.. and so within this – fear of how they see/perceive me – fear of them not liking me – fear of them judging me as weird or that they will see me differently then how I am in my reality. Self Honesty/Common Sense here – because if I am the same here, yesterday, today, tomorrow, whether I am online or in my immediate reality with others – then there is no fear. As I am here – I am the same – I am constant – I express who and what I am, what I participate with, what I stand for. Living Principles’ – not fearing the exposing of my personality or the un-acceptableness within Humanity and our reflected Systems.

So to recap:
Fear of talking about an equal money system with others
Fear of how others will react/respond to my Standing for an Equal Money System
Defining others hearing about an Equal Money System to be that of resistance and judgment
Fear of others judging me/laughing at me/not like me/think I am weird for Standing for an Equal Money System
Accepting/defining that others will resist and react to me for standing within the Desteni Process and Support of an Equal money system
Fear of not being able to explain how the equal money system will work and how/why it is best for all
Fear of having to ‘go up against’ others who may challenge me within my standing of an equal money system(conflict)
Fear of others rejecting me/ being rejected by others/the system because I support an Equal Money System

SELF FORGIVENESS:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear speaking about an Equal Money System with others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘speaking about an Equal Money System with others’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist speaking about an Equal Money System with others because of my accepted and allowed fear of speaking to others about an Equal Money System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others judging me for talking about an Equal Money System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘others judging me for talking about an Equal money System’ – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe others will judge me for talking about an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for supporting an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define ‘supporting an equal money system’ as being that which others will judge/judge me for

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe my fear is real

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being able to speak about an equal money system in a clear way that others can/will understand

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘being able to speak about an equal money system in a clear way that others can/will understand’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself within the information and knowledge of an Equal money system – instead of allowing myself to realize that an Equal Money System is a lived realization that is practically walked within this world – and thus I am simply expressing myself as a system of equality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear expressing myself within the realization of the common sense of an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘expressing myself within the realization of the common sense of an equal money system’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit others within defining them to be resistant to an equal money system as a solution to this world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept and define response from others within talking about an equal money system to be that of fear and reactions

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to assume others will respond with resistance and fear to an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others judging who I am within how they react to an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘others judging who I am within how they react to an equal money system’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear how others will see/perceive me within my support of an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘how others will see/perceive me within my support of an equal money system’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others not liking me because of my support of an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘others not liking me because of my support of an equal money system’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others laughing at me because of my support for an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘others laughing at me because of my support for an equal money system ‘ to fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others thinking I am weird because I support an equal money system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘others thinking I am weird because I support an equal money system’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from value through and as placing my self value onto others and how they see/perceive me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe others will judge an Equal Money System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe others will react to an Equal Money System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe others will resist an Equal Money System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define others reactions/perceptions to an Equal Money System to be that of conflict in which I fear to face

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing conflict within communicating about an Equal money System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘conflict within communication about an Equal Money System’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I will conflict with others when talking about an Equal Money System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear how others will see/perceive me for standing within the Group of Desteni

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘how others will see/perceive me for standing within the Group of Desteni’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place value on how others see me more then how I see me here realizing that when I am here – I am equal and one as self value

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear expressing myself within the perspective of an Equal Money System as being what is Best for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘expressing myself within the perspective of an Equal Money System as being what is Best for All’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear knowledge and information of the mind within talking about an equal money system and not being able to express the points for others to understand

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘knowledge and information of the mind within talking about an equal money system and not being able to express the points for others to understand’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself that I Havent yet allowed myself to express myself within the realization that Equal Money is Common Sense as what is Best for All and thus trust myself to speak in the moment of being here and the breath in ways that others can relate as it’s common sense

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within the knowledge and information of the mind about what an Equal Money System is and how it will change the world to be what is best for all instead of allowing myself to express that which I have realized within and as myself about an Equal Money System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within the knowledge and information of the mind about an equal money system and desteni and thus fear others rejecting me within this world/this system because I support that which is best for all

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘others rejecting me within this world/this system because I support that which is Best for all’ with fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within knowledge and information of the mind instead of allowing myself to be here as the breath of life – free and open as the expression of life, realizing I am not defined according to/by anything

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others not accepting me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘others not accepting me’ within fear – and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself and my existence within others accepting me – instead of standing stable, constant here as me and the breath as who I am as Life


SELF CORRECTIVE STATEMENTS:

When and as I see myself existing within fear of sharing the perspective of an Equal money System = I stop and I breathe, bringing myself back here where fear does not exist – and allow myself to express myself as the realization of the Common Sense of an Equal Money System being that which is best for all

When and as I see myself participate within fear of talking about an Equal money system with others – I stop and I breathe – bringing myself back here as the breath of life realizing that fear is not real and thus I am allowing dishonesty within myself, so I stop and breath – being real here, and share myself within the moment of self expression

When and as I see myself resist speaking/communication with others about an Equal Money System – I stop and I breathe – pushing myself through the fear is being self honesty, as I realize the fear is not real and thus I push through to speak and share a solution that is best for all

When and as I see myself allowing myself to assume others will react to me when speaking about an Equal Money System – I stop and I breathe – and bring it back to myself within realizing I am accepting and allowing reactions within myself – so I stop and breathe and share and communicate myself without assumptions of where others are within their process of understanding/realizing the common sense of an Equal money System

When and as I see myself within fear of others judging me for speaking about an Equal Money System or walking with the Group of Desteni – I stop and I breathe, realizing only I am able to judge myself and thus I stop judging myself and allowing myself to express myself within who I am as I walk the process of self perfection – I stop self abuse as self judgment

When and as I see myself projecting myself onto others through ideas of how they perceive me or what is going on within themselves – I stop and I breathe – bringing it back to myself within realizing it’s about me, so I stop blaming others and start taking responsibility for myself

When and as I see myself getting caught up within the information and knowledge of the Mind about what an Equal Money System is – I stop and I breathe – realizing an Equal Money System is a living realization/statement within all to be that which is best for all – and so I express this as myself as I have realized the Common Sense of an Equal Money System to be what is Best for all

When and as I see myself accepting others perceptions/opinions/ideas/thoughts to be of more value then myself here within fearing this of them – I stop and I breathe realizing here as the breath I am Self Value and Self Worth and Equal and One with all as Me

When and as I see myself needing acceptance from others to feel accepted and validated – I stop and breathe realizing this is of the mind of ego needing to feel safe within this world/this system – and thus I stop within realizing here as Breath I am Life and need nothing of no one, as I give to myself in every moment of breath

When and as I see myself not trusting myself in the moment as self expression when speaking/communicating about an Equal Money System because of fear– I stop and I breathe realizing fear is dishonest and self abuse as I then do not allow myself to share unconditionally in the moment as self trust within self expression because of allowing fear which isn’t real – so I breath, being real

When and as I see myself allowing fear of expression in the moment about an Equal Money System – I stop and I breathe, bringing myself back here and back to the understanding/realization of an Equal Money System that I have had within myself and thus allow myself to share myself and my experience in what I have come to realize about an Equal Money System being that which is bEst for all – and thus trust myself in the moment to share myself within/as self realization of an Equal Money System – realizing I will then speak within common sense that others can see within themselves

When and as I am speaking/sharing/communicating with others about what an Equal Money System is and how it is Best for all and what I have come to realize about it within myself – I stop and I breathe and make sure I am speaking from a starting point of being clear within myself as the breath as silence as self trust as self expression – allowing myself to express unconditionally in the moment without fear or expectations. Simply being Here.

When and as I see myself fluxuating within polarities of highs and lows I stop and I breathe – realizing this is of the mInd, and so I breathe bringing myself back here in pushing myself to live as the constant expression of myself as life in every moment, the same, yesterday, today, tomorrow: Here.

Re-Defining Word

REGRET

1. Gathering information:

a. Establishing self’s allocation point – regretful for not speaking up wherein I can place a solution for someone, regret in letting fear control me and keep me from sharing my perspective, common sense perspectives. Regret is decisions made in the past, not expressing myself the way that I want to. Regret missing opportunities presented to me to express myself unconditionally without fear

b. Dictionary Definition –
verb (used with object)
1.
to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment,etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it.
2.
to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one's vanished youth.
noun
3.
a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc.
4.
a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss,disappointment, etc.
5.
regrets, a polite, usually formal refusal of an invitation: Isent her my regrets.
6.
a note expressing regret at one's inability to accept aninvitation: I have had four acceptances and one regret.

2. Investigate the information of the word that has been gathered

Does the definition within the different aspects that you have gathered as information of the word, carry a polarity charge (is it made ‘good’/’positive’ or ‘bad’/’negative’)?

This can be determined by looking at:
Your own personal experience with this word Regret has a sense of ‘negativity’ attached to it. Fear of not having another opportunity arise like the one I regretfully did not express myself. Regret of actions taken in the past – not doing what I wanted to do or seeing it now how I could have doing things differently – so regret in the sense that I missed out on something because I did something a certain way or not at all.
How you have interpreted the word as ‘good’/’positive’ or ‘bad’/’negative’ With a negative charge – being something that is bad, meaning – it is not something I want to experience, and when I have/do I feel bad about it – like I missed out on something – so fear of loss/losing/lost something
What associations do you have with the word? I experience a lot of regret within old relationships – where I see how I’ve acted or behaved and wish I would have done things differently. I associate feelings of judgments – as I might judge who I am now or how my life is because of past decisions that I regret. Like a desire to do things over/differently. Fear of always being remembered by past decisions/actions that I now regret.
Do you feel better or worse when you are using or experiencing this word? wors


3. New definition

a. Creative writing: Regret can be a point of self honesty. Wherein I can look back at who I was within my past – the decisions I made, the choices I made, the things I went through and allowed within myself and my reality – and see how if there is regret, I now I was not being self honest with myself in that moment and either surpressed myself with fear of doing something/acting on something or acted in ways that do not support me or the principles of equality and oneness. Regret can be cool support as a flag point to see where I did not stand up within myself and can be supportive to learn from, where I now next time I find myself in a situation that I might regret later – I can push myself within being self honesty and speaking up/standing up within myself to do what is best for all/me.

b. Writing the definition:

New definition:Regret: A point of support for me to utilize in seeing/understanding where I was not self honest with myself in the actions/words I participated within and allowed. A point within myself I am able to utilize as a way to investigate what it was I wasn’t allowing within myself – or was allowing that in turn caused the effect of regret. A moment where I was not being self honest and allowed suppression as fear to direct me instead of me directing me in the moment as breath.



4. Checking the definition

a. Is there a polarity in the definition that I have assigned to the word?
Answer: no

b. Can I stand by this definition of the word eternally?
Answer: yes

c. Does the definition that I wrote represent what the word means?
Answer: yes