I did experience resistance to him. This moring I layed in bed and gave in to my resistance, arguing with myself about getting up and just facing him and communicating to him what is necessary – yet I gave in and just layed there, I gave in to the idea of myself, as the ego, needed to be right – to prove a point, and spite him with my inaction to speak. And as I layed there, I saw what I was doing. And I felt bad – there is guilt looking back now, because I realize that I could have stood up in that moment. Obviously – I can’t go back – yet will I realize within this moment again?
Same with my communiation. Time for me to realize that communication within equality, doers not need to argue or prove a point. Common sense sepaks volumes therefore I do not need to raise my voice – and I say this because I see why I am raising my voice. Because I want to prove myself. To be right and to prove him wrong. I want to be the winner. Yet, no one actually wins. Life suffers instead. And this is unacceptable. I gave in to many limitations today.
All this time writing this – I’m wondering if I can use these words for my blog. There is a part of me screaming NO! Too personal – to exposed. So – cool, I will spite my ego that tells me no and direct myself to be self honesty in all ways – not fearing exposing myself to all equally.
Pushing through the limitation and standing up for myself. Here is how we change ourselves, not take shit from the ego/mind and decide for ourselves who we are going to be. I chose to be someone who isn’t afraid to be self honest – for all to see. Hopefully it can assist someone else who reads this – perhaps they can relate and say hey, I see me here within these words, and I know I can stand up for myself too.