questions about why I do what I do, or where the thoughts I think come from - better understanding myself and how I function, and ultimately it's about taking self-responsibility for who I am.
I wasn't doing that. I was projecting a lot of blame, victimizing myself in relation to others and life circumstances, and essentially wallowing in self-pity. To me this was a consequence I was creating through not taking self-responsibility for myself through writing.
So I decided to start, and like I said, it's something I've been consistently working on the past couple of months. I noticed changes almost immediately. Much more stability within myself/my mind, and more clarity in seeing myself, my life, and those within it. Writing has a grounding effect, and I experienced myself back on my two feet - directly walking my process of self-change rather than allowing consequences to direct me.
One point that I noticed just the other day, that shows striking the effect writing can have on one's life is in relation to back chats.
What is back chats?
A back chat is basically the statements we make within our minds about someone, or about a situation - it's like the narrator within our mind making assumptions, accusations, and in my case, lot's and lot's of blame.
So this is what I noticed.... before I made the decision to start writing more consistently, I was experiencing a lot of back chat in relation to my partner, and how he exists within our environment. I would react to him not doing the dishes, or not putting them away... or for leaving a shirt on the couch. I was almost daily having back chats about the negligence of 'his behavior'. Though - since I started writing again, specifically within the starting point of taking SELF-responsibility... the back chats in relation to that particular point have completely vanished. I actually had forgot I was having those consistent back chats, until I remembered just the other day - noticing again what writing can do.
From my perspective - because I was busy taking responsibility for myself, which we have MORE than enough within our own minds to work with, I no longer had the time, or space to worry about what he was doing... because ultimately it's not my responsibility. My projected blame of him being neglectful and lazy in the house was simply me showing me that due to me not writing, or actively taking responsibility for myself as thoughts, words, and deeds, I was neglecting me, and really just being lazy about it. Writing doesn't take a lot of effort... only a decision to sit down and face yourself. And in doing so, the blame stopped, and self-understanding (which leads to understanding others) emerged.
So just wanted to share a little gem one can find in taking a step of self-support. With writing - in taking self-responsibility, the focus is removed from others, blame no longer exists, and self's responsibility stands as what actually matters. And so a reference for ourselves.... if we are constantly thinking about others, and what they are doing wrong, and how they are this, and that, and don't do this right, or questioning who they are and the decisions they make, it is CLEARLY indicating we are not taking self-responsibility.
So want to stop worrying and focusing so much about others? Start worrying and focusing on yourself... making sure that YOU are living to your utmost potential before you start blaming others for not living up to theirs.
Thanks for reading!
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