112 - Doped up on Hope

Hope as it currently exists is another form of 'positive thinking'/energy high wherein we attempt to make ourselves feel better in the face of what our reality is revealing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as hope as a feeling of ‘hopefulness’ as if to say, “despite how I experience myself, I will ignore that and instead go into hope – because hope makes me feel better and within hope, I don’t have to take responsibility for myself or my world, I can just pretend everything is ok and be pleased with myself in how hope makes me feel”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust in the feeling of hope

I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to question the feeling of hope

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use hope as an excuse to not face myself within believing that “everything will be ok” and “things will get better” and “everything will turn out ok” instead of realizing this as the consumerism consciousness, wherein despite what reality is showing me, I pretend to not see, and instead turns toward feeling better and attempt to “find the positive” and within this find hope, accepting it as a valid experience I can dwell in while reality is ignored and no one questions why we must hope in the first place

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept hope as a natural part of the human expression – instead of realizing how we have used it to turn a blind eye to reality in believing ‘things will turn out for the better’ – somehow, magically on their own, things will work out for this world, instead of realizing the waste hope is as a dope we consume to get high, to feel good, to escape from the realization that we are responsible for this world and how it currently exists

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in the face of challenges and fear and hopelessness, turn to hope as some kind of magic answer that makes me feel better, where I allow the desire for something or someone to come and save me or rescue me so that I do not have to stand up and take responsibility for myself, I can instead exist within hope, sitting…. Waiting… for the day when my hope becomes valid

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that hope is just another word for positivity, within accepting polarity in this world, within accepting the haves and haves not – within accepting inequality… wherein I look to hope to feel better, to trust in because I have given away my ability to create any change and so I sit and wait in hope for something to change, accepting that for some reason I cannot change myself

I forgive myself that I Have not allowed myself to realize the extent to which hope is abuse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within hope in ‘needing’ to ‘find the bright side’ because in the face of the current atrocity this world represents, instead of looking and facing and correcting and changing – instead I rather be in hope, hope that somehow things will get better and change and I do not have to do anything about it… giving up be ability to be self response-able – where I take self responsibility is stopping hope as the waiting game, as the drug that allows me to feel good, and instead stand up and direct myself within this world to create real change with real actions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and my reality through existing within hope in my mind of ‘something better’

I forgive myself that instead of creating a world where no one needs or requires to exist within hope, where all life is given equal value and equal support to LIVE, I have instead accepted and allowed this world to be what it is, full of abuse and hate and separation and inequality and deceit and then go into my mind, within myself and separate from the rest of the world to dwell in MY hope, where I am apparently safe and secure and do not have to face the reality of this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create hope within myself and not the rest of the world

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that real hope is when real people dare to stand up and question this world, and question ourselves, and who we are and what we have accepted and allowed – and only through the process of self forgiveness and self correction will we be able to release ourselves from the trap of hope, wherein we do not dare act to create change, and instead exist within wishful and dare I say ignorant thinking that keeps us complacent and accepting of our reality.

I commit myself to stop all hope as the dope I use to escape from facing my reality that is equal and one for all

I commit myself to stop existing within hope as the polarity of separation wherein I fear the negative of this world and thus attempt to find the positive as hope

I commit myself to stop all inequalities within myself

I commit myself to expose to all how to allow hope is to allow abuse as one who suffers in this world does not require hope, they require money, they require food and shelter and real care from humanity that is currently trapped in fear of standing in their shoes, and instead holds onto hope that they will not be one of the unfortunate ones

I commit myself to face the atrocities within myself as my thoughts words and deeds that I see in the reflection of the rest of the world

I commit myself to stop hiding in hope and instead stand and take real actions of self change

I commit myself to never give up on myself as giving into hope, as I see/realize/understand that hope is a waiting game for a savior that will never come, instead I allow and commit myself to be the savior I have been waiting for in saving myself from the trap of hope and give to myself that which I have taken from life

I commit myself to end all need for hope, within and without, realizing that hope is only required in the face of a world existing within inequality, where some suffer while others prosper

I commit myself in creating a life support system that is best for all, where all are cared for as Equals as One

Featured Artwork By: Damian Ledesma

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