29 January 2013
110- Starting over as Stepping outside the 'Comfort Zone'
There is this point of not wanting to ‘start over’ whereas I am already established within certain positions/points in my life, as there is already a sense of comfortability.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear starting over
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to start something new within having a point already established within myself, within my life and thus use this as an excuse to ‘stay put’ and to not move myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to despite seeing in self honesty that holding onto something just because I am comfortable within its developed pattern, my developed pattern of ‘who I am’ and ‘how I act’ within it, want to hold onto this point of ‘comfortability’ in fear of having to start over, of having to actually change
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear changing within the desire to hold onto a pattern that I define as ‘comfortable’ and fear of having to face something new
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself within staying in the same place, not changing through fear of having to start over, of having to recreate who I am, within the starting point of ‘being comfortable’ with what has already been established and thus use this as an excuse and justification to not change
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define starting over, starting something new, letting go of that which I am ‘comfortable’ with (as a place to hide and stay in my comfort zone) as too hard and within the emotion of fear, fear of having to re-walk that which has already been established, instead of realizing that too start over is in fact the gift and opportunity to ‘do it again’ in walking through as facing myself, who I am, and directing myself in each moment to no longer accept my complacent ‘comfort zone’ – but too in fact expand myself within gifting myself with new opportunities
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cherish my comfortability more than actually growing in facing new experiences, people, places, things in wanting to stay in my shell of ‘what I know’, instead of realizing the limitation within this, in not allowing myself to ‘venture out’ and actually get to know who I am in moments I have yet to face
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself within not letting go of my comfort zone of what I have accepted and allowed within the pattern of ‘who I am’ in relation to/toward my world and reality, wherein I believe I am somehow protecting myself in not trying something new, and instead justifying the ‘way that I am’ as to why I resist ‘going there’ or ‘doing that’ because I’d rather stay with ‘what I know’, proving to myself that I am not actually willing to live, to grow, to expand and to see what is actually possible in this life
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that my ‘comfort zone’ has been programmed and conditioned through my acceptances and allowances within and throughout my life and to hold onto to that is to hold onto the pre-programmed ‘self’ that I define myself as as being my ‘likes and dislikes’, what I ‘prefer and what I don’t prefer’ and “what I am comfortable with and what I’m not comfortable with’, instead of realizing the gift of facing such points that I resist through defining them outside my comfort zone, wherein ‘going there’ and ‘doing that’ would in fact allow me to face the acceptance of ‘why I resist it’ and thus support me to really get to know myself as the inner self that I hide and protect within not questioning or facing or correcting
I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to give myself the gift of trying something new, of starting over in each moment as breath, of letting go of ‘who I was’ as how I defined myself and instead expand into something that is worthy of life, without fear or the need to protect myself as my programmed survival
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to ‘start over’ in committing myself to walk through a decision I make, or a resistance I face, or a fear I encounter, to always stop myself in such a moment, breathe, see what it is I am allowing, who I am in that moment, and to MOVE myself through it, to face it, forgive it, correct it and to push beyond what I have accepted as myself, realizing every moment is a gift to ‘start over’ and in that starting over takes the constant and consistent commitment to self to change who self is from that of self interest, fear, desire, wants, to that of life, equal and one with all that is here in exploring what is actually here in/as this world, equal and one with/as myself and thus realizing to allow self to start over is to allow self to get to know self, within and without and thus I commit myself to let go of that which I define as my comfort zone, and to instead expand and grow myself into pushing beyond the walls I have placed before me as where I can or cannot go, who I can and cannot be, what I can and cannot express – I stop limiting myself and allow myself to live
I commit myself to investigating all things within myself I hold onto as a point of ‘comfortability’ wherein I feel safe and secure and protected and fear to let go of, realizing this is the gift of self discovery
I commit myself to stop fearing to start over in starting something new, and instead embrace the change as a gift to face myself in what I have accepted of myself and what is actually possible within/as myself
I commit myself to stop allowing fear to direct myself and my life
I commit myself to the process of self change, self discovery and self intimacy, in seeing within myself in who I am in each moment, what I allow to move me, direct me, influence me, and to always when I am able to, to stop and breathe in getting back to physical reality, equal and one as my physical body, in being ‘here’ and facing/walking each moment as each breathe is ‘starting over’ as the breath I breathe in is self honesty to see who I am in that moment and to breathe out is the self forgiveness of letting go – letting go of my own self created limitations, letting go of my mental reality in which I have defined as ‘who I am’, in letting go of my need to ‘feel safe’ and ‘comfortable’ and instead confront the demons within me and without, as I have and do see, realize and understand what this world is a reflection of who I am, this world accepts and allows what I accept and allow and thus I start with myself, in starting over in bringing myself back to myself, looking inward to change what’s without – moving myself beyond the self created hell
I commit myself to realizing that real comfort-ability is the ability to be with self in the face of all that is here as this physical reality/world - in remaining stable within who I am and not moving from/within the starting point of fear, self interest, desire, wants, ideas, beliefs, perceptions of separation, but to instead stand stable as who I am as life, in each moment, as each breathe, comforting myself within knowing that I am the same, today, yesterday and tomorrow and I will always in all-ways stand up for myself and What is Best for all, equal as one as life.
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