22 September 2012

Day 72-I don't want to Work!

Day 72 – Sept 8th 2012


Today I worked and did not want to be there and when the chance came for me to go home early – I took it. Without considering the fact that I require to work in order to have money and the more money I have in this world – the more I am able to move and get shit done. So – it was not in the best interest of me/all to go home early – yet I allowed laziness to take over and ‘gave in’ to the point of ‘not wanting to work’



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when given the opportunity to go home early, react immediately with a yes, without taking a moment to actually consider the reality of the situation and consider the fact that while I am in school, I am not working as much, and without money, I cannot do much, like survive – and thus was not considering what was best in that moment of deciding to go home early, only was ‘feeling’ and ‘experiencing’ laziness and tiredness and decided based on this self-created experience to go home



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the experience and feelings generated by thoughts of ‘not wanting to be at work/working’ direct myself in the decision to go home early, without considering and being self honest in the moment about the reality of my financial situation and realizing thus that staying would = more money and thus be self supportive for me



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to work and hate that I Have to work – instead of realizing it is the system that I participate and thus support in me being here that forces one to work in order to survive, as we require money through the jobs we have and until I, with and as a group – stand together and recreate this world that is best for all – with equal money, I will have to stand up and do what is necessary to be done, standing equal to what is here and get the job done which means where we are currently in this reality is to work in order to survive, in order to live



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider my self interest above what is best for me/all in deciding in self interest that the way I was feeling was more important the the actual reality, which currently requires money



I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself while at work in giving in to the thoughts of ‘I don’t want ot be here’, ‘I would rather be at home’ – instead of stopping those thoughts, breathing, being in the physical reality and getting the job done



I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that what this current world system is - is that where we require to work in order to live and thus the consequences of our creation as humanity and so I face the consequences of who we are and breath each moment to do what it is I have to do in order to support myself in this reality and to be able to walk a process, effectively and sufficient to get myself into position to change this world by changing our current economic system and so I forgive myself that I did not accept and allow myself to put what is best for all before what is best for my self interest through giving into the desire to go home early based on feelings, emotions and thoughts, instead of breathing here and remaining self honest about staying at work so that I could get the moment I currently require to be here



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in moments of wanting to give up and not work, go into the justifications within my mind that "I have worked hard for a long time, I can take a break" instead of realizing the dishonesty in this moment in allowing my minds desire of self interest to be directing myself in my reality, where the reality IS i have to work and so I forgive myself that I did not accept and allow myself to in the moment of the thought as justification arise within my mind, to in that moment, stop, breathe and actually consider reality and not pay attention to the illusion reality of the mind



When and as I see myself participating in the "I don't want to work" character - I stop and I breath and I remain self honesty within and as myself within and as this reality and realize that currently i require to work, and until I stand equal and one as this world in changing it into what is best for all, where all life is honored with the ability to live without having to work, as equal money, I will have to walk the consequences of what has been created as our economic system, where money defines life and so I commit myself to stop all self interest characters that dictate my living and responsibility in this world where i believe I don't have to work, and remain self honest about what is necessary to be done and realize that currently I require money to do the things I need to do to get this done in this one life



When and as I see myself going into justifications of why I don't have to work - I stop and I breathe and I do not allow my mind to direct me away from seeing/living self responsibility as self honesty, wherein I realize we require money to do anything, including survive, in this world and thus I do not allow any justifications as to why I don't have to work direct me, within this realizing that the justification stage of the mind follows the participation in the character as thoughts that tell me I don't want to work, based on feelings and emotions and thus I commit myself to stop ALL thoughts that arise in the moment as to not allow myself to get to the moment of self sabotage as justifications for myself to do what my mind tells me to do and thus I commit myself to direct myself within my life in each moment as breath, within self responsibility and self honest to see/realize/understand thus live what is necessary to be done and thus I push myself to work when ever I have the ability to do so



I commit myself to writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application daily, along with breathing in each moment, to change myself from the nature of self interest, into what is best for all within realizing the outer reflects the inner and thus I commit myself to changing inner in order to change the outer which will result in the changing of our current economic system from one of self interest and the individualized pursuit of happiness, to one of equality and oneness where all life is honored equally within the birth rights given from/of this earth, equal money supporting all life, not just humans, to exist here in honor and dignity






Equal Money
Desteni