15 December 2011

2011: "You are the Reason I feel this way" - WTF?

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
~ Maya Angelou

I'm here to suggest that Maya Angelou is mistaken... as there is no consideration of self and responsibility. To say that 'someone made me feel this way' is saying, 'it's their fault that I experience myself the way that I do'. Its like taking things personally - and that is always ego. And ego is evil as it exist in self interest and that self is 'never wrong'. Or that we have no control on how others 'make' us feel.

I know this is crap because to say that someone 'makes' you feel a certain way just expose our nature of being slaves. Slaves to each other, to our emotions and feelings - slaves to our thoughts and judgments and blame. We are slaves in not taking self responsibility for what Exists within OURSELVES - because we accept we have no control. There is not direction of ourselves, we are just 'automatically reacting' to someone else and what they are doing. We give them the power over us and basically accept ourselves as a slave - because they are calling the shots - they are pulling the strings and the 'way that we feel' is their responsibility.

This is just fucked and we all need a reality check. The point is that it is ALWAYS in ALL WAYS us- we are the ones ALLOWING someone else to control how we feel. This is looking at it from the 'negative' stand point - so lets equalize it out and see how the positive is also fucked.

If we were to say, 'this person makes me feel good', 'I like the way this person makes me feel'... what does this reveal? We are then dependent upon that person to make us 'feel good'. And this implies it's only temporary - because that person will not always be around to be there apparently giving you the lovely feelings you experience. This also implies enslavement to another - as we expect others to say and do things that we can feel good about and be ok with ourselves. We allow our sense of self to then be determined and defined by another.

Again - there is no self responsibility for what SELF is allowing within SELF. Imagine if we did not react 'good or bad' to anyone within our world - because it is possible. It is possible to not blame another for our experience and for 'making' us do anything. This is just our excuse to not take responsibility for ourselves - because when we have another as our 'origin' of what we experience - we don't have to face the reality of ourselves, it's someone else's problem - it's their doing and thus I don't have to change or see who I am or what I am allowing - I am 'free' in being a slave.

Seems to be backwards.

To sort ourselves out and to start seeing with realeyes - check out Desteni

Through the support of Desteni I have realized for myself that it's never about anyone else - it's always about me and what I accept and allow within myself. I've learned to take back direction of myself and my life and to walk within principles that stop us from blaming and separating ourselves and to start creating our world to be a place that is best for all - where all invididuals are equal in self responsibility - standing as one part of the whole in support of themselves and each other. Time we start facing our truth.

Check out more support here, others who are busy facing themselves as what is accepted and allowed and practical examples of how we change:

12 December 2011

Education/School - Just do It

I just finished my first of two finals for the first semester at college. This is actually my second attempt of achieving a 'higher education' - yet something is different this time. Me. I am different. The school and the classes are the same - yet who I am within the school and classes has changed.

When I made my first attempt at school 2 years ago - it was within the starting point of 'this is what I Have to do'. "I'm not doing anything so why not" "I feel bad about myself, I graduated 7 years ago - what am I doing with my Life." It was a decision made out of fear - fear of failing - of not 'doing what I'm suppose to do' - it was within wanting to 'be better'. I was full of reasons for going back to school - and none were within self honesty or best for all interest. It was based in self interest, self image and all things dishonest. After just a month of classes - I was accepting and allowing all sorts of thoughts of reasons as to why I could not continue. I gave myself excuses as not do to the work - I was caught up in anxieties about who I was and what others thought about me - I was unsure of what I was going to do with it - it was not an expression of myself - it was a means to an end as my attempt to 'find myself'. My starting point was unstable and thus the process was unstable.. and I ended up quitting.

Then I found myself. Here. With the support of Desteni and others - I realized that no thoughts are ever valid and I am able to do and get done what ever it is I decide to do. It's that simple. I learned to forgive myself for the thoughts of Judgments I was having - as the start of the semester all the same stuff from my previous experience came back and this time I was with tools on how to support myself. How to keep it simple and just get it done. Do what is necessary to be done - the most basic support I have ever heard that becomes more and more valuable everyday for me.

This last semester I have learned that I am able and capable of being a student that excels. I am able to do the work. I am able to participate in class discussion - I am able to contribute to the class. And most of all - I am able to let go of all the fears and judgments I was holding in relation to myself and school/education - and simply walk within the realization that this is necessary to be done. We require humans in this World to be educated about what the fuck is going on. Within the system and within ourselves. To utilize what is here to be effective in this World. To be in positions where we can actually create a change in this world and one that is best for all.

Education is not about getting a good job so that I can have a good pay check so that I can live a happy life, one that is comfortable and protected from the harsh realities of this World - but to utilize myself as a point of change - becoming aware and using my education to actually create an effective change in this world. My schooling is no more just about me - it is about what is best for all. I am in a position in this world to stand up for those that cannot - to expose what's going on and the unacceptable nature of ourselves that is here. We all are responsible - so no way am I going to go through this process looking out for only myself - but to bring about a World that is Best for All.

So the coolest thing I have learned this semester - as that it doesn't matter how smart or 'unsmart' you 'think' you are - it's not real. The point and the gift is - whatever we decide to do - just do it and it will be done. Wow - what a concept. Just do the work - apply, push yourself to give of yourself what you know you can and you will only be able to expand as who you are.

I am grateful for this education process, grateful for desteni in showing me how I can support myself... and grateful I have just one more final to finish:)