Kristina's Journey to Life

Not too long ago I noticed an interesting consideration within myself that I have not seen before, but was oh so grateful for. This was just past the two week mark of no smoking (I am now closing in on the 7 weeks mark) and I noticed this particular point came up to have a cigarette, and within that, an experience of longing and missing - like a feeling of wishing I could experience it again while simultaneously knowing it may never be ever again... and in that, the missing and longing to smoke. At that moment, I realized the commitment and decision was made, and the willingness to walk it, despite how much discomfort and challenge there is, I am giving it my best to change this habit, and so I said to myself, "You are not going to smoke, it's okay, but you are not going to smoke. Just accept that." And it was like a point of gently nudging myself to face the reality of where I am, and in that, face the reality of the discomfort I experience physically in not smoki

Here a point where I sometimes find myself annoyed or impatient in moments of communicating with others - not wanting to hear what they are speaking about, feeling like they are wasting my time - especially if I think what they are saying "doesn't matter" or is irrelevant to what we are actually trying to do... I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give up my time for others I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give others a moment of my time in really hearing them out and being present with them instead of waiting for them to stop speaking so I can move on with what I was doing I forgive myself that I have  not accepted and allowed myself to be interested in others' words and expressions instead of learning to stop and investigate what matters in matters I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to write most people off as selfish and not worth my time as thinking and believing 'they