Posts

Showing posts from 2019

605: Do you Actually "Go with the Flow?" (10 of 30)

Image
When things didn't turn out as how I planned and expected, I discovered I do not actually live the statement "going with the flow"... instead, I got angry and resentful and looked to blame others for life not playing out how I intended!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger in moments when my time is not playing out as I had intended it, to be exactly opposite of how I intended it, and to within this, look at who I can blame for things not going how I wanted it to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry as feeling life was against me and things were not going how I wanted it to, and to within this, feel as if no one was helping me out or 'making it easier on me'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to cater to my wants of how I want things to work out as how I have a plan in my mind, and when it doesn't go as how I envisioned it, become enraged and find f…

604: I'm Not Worthy (9 of 30)

Image
I had a moment where because of my actions, and my willingness to go for something, I received something in return. But upon receiving it, a moment of doubt and fear and rationalizing a self-belief that another person was more deserving than me directed me to give up what I was offered. And I immediately realized the self-compromising ways in which I've been living by this one simple moment...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself in moments where I think and believe I am less deserving than another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to second guess myself and to decide that I am not worth what I was offered based on my efforts and instead believe, by chance, someone else was

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in a moment of receiving something, feel bad for another person and doubt my actions and to offer up what was offered to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wo…

603: Needing Another's Stability (8 of 30)

Image
Every so often I will find myself swaying from my stability because I see another swaying from their stability... and in this, a dependency is revealed where I have not yet fully established my own self-stability. And so forgiveness for creating, accepting, and allowing this instability and the commitment to creating my self-stability

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my stability to be conditional on someone else's

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react and sway from my stability if I think, believe or perceive another is doing the same thing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe if someone else is reacting, I must react to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to another person's reactions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my own reactions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a re-action

I forgive myself that…

602: "That's Not MY Job" (7 of 30)

Image
A point of seeing where I am willing to take responsibility only up to a certain point and where expectations and definitions still exist towards others... "for them to do their job" and to "stop creating consequences for me".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the statement "that's not my responsibility"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be willing to step up and step in where I am needed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to take on more responsibility within myself when I see a point is needed, yet I say "that's not my job" and so stick within my own position of not being willing to extend a helping hand as helping the group as a whole

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect others to do their job/take their responsibility, especially so that I don't have to do more work or take on more responsibility mys…

601: My Wants before Her Needs (6 of 30)

Image
Sharing forgiveness on a point that my dog actually communicated to me... and where I am still allowing my wants to override the needs of another... revealing a point where I am not pushing to live what is best for all in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty in relation to my dog as seeing her need to be more active and not accommodating it for her

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do the bare minimum when it comes to exercising my dog, and to within this, allow myself to wallow in guilt for not giving her more when I see she needs more

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change myself in order to accommodate what's best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk the line of what's best for all and what's best for me in terms of doing what I am comfortable with, or only pushing the limits a little bit, but to not go beyond what I want to do in order…

600: A Guest in the Theater of My Mind (5 of 30)

Image
Some ranting and raving forgiveness in seeing me get swept up on 'old times' and spend more time than necessary in reminiscing about past positive moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within nostalgia as in getting caught up in past memories that produce positive feelings as a way to distract and entertain myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question these moments wherein a memory will grab my attention and I will follow it through to playout the memory and all the feelings associated with the memory and have that be what I spend my time on instead of stopping and asking myself where the memory came from, why it came up, and what can I learn about this memory rather than letting it take me for a ride

I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to use all memories constructively wherein I look at them within a directive will, not as a guest in a theater seeing a show - where I decide to look…

599: Me First (4 of 30)

Image
Playing with some self-forgiveness here... reversing that which I see within me towards others. Flipping it around to see it's me the self-forgiveness is actually about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand in the shoes of others in not understanding where they are coming from and just instead automatically exist in judgment and blame

I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to consider who a person is, and what kind of life they've lived, and what contributory factors would make someone be and express the way that they do before I decide they were someone to judge, react to, and blame

I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed understanding to be my default programming in relation to others in considering ALL aspects of who they are and why they are and how they are instead of diverting to a program of conflict, blame, and judgment towards others

I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed …

598: My War with Women (3 of 30)

Image
When I look back at my life I had a handful of very close relationships with women. These are the tight bonds, the inseparable months or years, looking towards only each other to make each other laugh... and they ended in complete destruction. When I look at the people in my life that I have the most conflict towards today, it's also women.

While I feel the safest with women, I also see the most conflict in relation to women.... and since women need to stand up within themselves, and this world, to take lead on showing the way of creating a world that nurtures and cares for what's best for all, I got some work to do...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically go into conflict with other women

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically go into comparisons with other women

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically go into jealousy in relation to other women

I forgive myself that I ha…

597: Sick in Survival (2 of 30)

Image
I was sick this past week, and had to take some days off work... what opened up was the fear that exists when not being able to work in a system based on survival and where, as a lot of women, I'm not giving me, and my body, my priority attention, and care

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty when sick because I feel as if I'm letting people down who depend on me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want my body to 'quickly get over it' when being sick - giving it no more than two days to be immobile and after that, it better be ready to move again

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be conditional in how much rest I will give my body when it needs it the most

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others being upset with me when I'm sick in thinking I am letting them down when perhaps it is specific to both me and others around me when I am no longer able t…