15 August 2017

554: Things Change - Will You?

I started a new job just a couple of months ago, which changed up my home-life schedule quite a bit. I am no longer working evenings, or weekends, and work more hours in a day. I am very pleased about the change, but with that, I had to change myself.

I have been a long-time fan of to-do lists and while for the past couple of years of working evenings, I had long days on my hands and I could regularly get to a lot of things in one day. That has since changed, yet I still tried to do everything in one day. It's simply impossible.

And while I understand prioritizing, and doing what is practically possible, I for a bit was refusing to let go of this 'need to do it all'.

Though what I create from this is a constant failure experience, because I can't practically get to everything... something gets left uncrossed on my to-do list, and usually, it's the same thing every day. Then when the days off come around, I just want to 'run free' and do other things, instead of the 'work' I had been doing throughout the week - even the stuff I didn't I get to. And so I create this perpetual state of failure because every day I a missing out on something. Not getting to it, or wanting to give me some time off, or telling myself the work week is for work.

Though what I realize is that in not getting to everything, holding an expectation on myself that I must do everything in one day, and want to add more things to do to support myself in my development, I CAN change my schedule.

I can change what I do on what days - instead of feeling like all must be done in one day - a little bit at a time how I like it. I can rather do some stuff during the week, and others on the weekend when I'm off. Not forcing myself to achieve some unattainable perfection, but rather perfecting myself in restructuring my days and weeks. Giving more time to things daily, rather than just giving a little to a lot of things. I can give a lot to a little on certain days and see how that goes.

So a bit of a testing something new out... seeing how I do with focusing on fewer things during the working week and adding more to the weekends of what I don't do during the week. In this also creating balance, where I give the proper amount of time to all things I am responsible for and would like to engage with. The week stuff, and the weekend stuff.

I often get myself into a routine that I hold onto so tightly, I forget that as things change, I must change too. And while something was working for awhile, things move around and you have to be willing to move around with them. So some words here for me to start applying is flexibility, letting go, and restructuring.

I am a fan of structure, of a systematic approach to directing myself and my daily tasks. But this can become a compromise when one is unwilling to let go and change - go with the flow if you will. My work schedule changed, and so I must change as well. Allocate my responsibilities within practicality, and not the need or expectation forcing me to do something I most certainly always fall short of.

This reminds me of something we used to say at a company I once worked for. "Set yourself up for success." I am not doing so when I put unrealistic expectations on myself in terms of what I can practically, physically get done in a day. I am when I give myself the time and space to do some things here and other things there, balancing the schedule so I can enjoy what I'm doing rather than plowing through, attempting to get it all done at once. Slow and steady will surely get things done.





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