17 July 2017

553: Forgiveness is not about Forgetting

I just listened to an Eqafe recording titled, "Forgiveness and Forgetting". It explains the point of how just because you forgive something, doesn't mean it forever deletes it from you or your mind. There still exists a remembrance - a recalling of what has happened and who you were.

I was reminded of a time in my life where I realized I required to forgive myself for something I had done. I was ashamed and felt guilty, and regretting how I made the decision to do what I did. And for weeks, the same experience was coming up, I kept going back to the moment where I made this decision, what came from my decision, how it changed my life, and I was gripped by this emotion of regret and sadness. And I realized with this continuing to come up I had to forgive myself, to allow myself to let go of what I was holding onto.

I realized I couldn't change what was done - what I had done. It was done and that was that. There was no going back. But I still remained, and I could not continue to live with this emotional experience of not being able to accept what happened. So I forgave myself. I unconditionally forgave myself, allowed myself to realize I can't change what is done, and I must find a way to move on, for myself. And so I walked that process of forgiving myself and slowly, but surely, I was able to embrace, accept and let go of what happened.

Years later I still recall that time in my life, and how I experienced myself in those days from the decision I made. And I recall the moment I realized forgiveness was the key. And even though I did forgive myself, and I was able to allow myself to move on from what had happened, it still existed within me. That time in my life, that state I was in, that process I had to walk through to get myself through it... that has not been deleted or removed from me. It remains within me as it was a process that shaped who I am now and what I have walked in the past years of my life. And I'm grateful for that, because I am grateful for who I am today and I know that if I had not realized the power of self-forgiveness, I may have very well remained stuck in the past, replaying that same moment, that same decision, and those same feelings about it over and over again.

So the point here for me that I got from this interview was that yes, forgiveness is essential, but forgiveness does not forget. Forgiveness allows you to take what has been done, and who you have been, and use it to develop yourself into a more substantial, understanding, self-loving and so life-loving person.

The gift of forgiveness is that whatever you have done, whoever you have been doesn't have to define you forever... you can always change it, you can always forgive. But in that - what remains is the lessons learned, the new insights and realizations we developed throughout the moments of our life, and the remembrance that who we are creates consequence - a sequence of events that unfolds from who we are in each moment, and if we require to forgive anything, then we always have that as a lesson to never repeat again.

There was much more to this recording I mention here, though this is what I wanted to share. I suggest you have a listen for yourself and hear the gems of support waiting for you to uncover.

Enjoy!




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09 July 2017

552: What we Resist Persists

To touch base on a previous blog, 540, I wanted to reiterate the point of how 'what you resist, persists'.

When I resist pain such as headaches and take a pill to get rid of the experience, I am essentially giving up the opportunity I have to develop a level of self-intimacy, and self-awareness.

Headaches, and pains, as mentioned in my previous blog, don't just come out of nowhere. Often times I can see how I create the pains... how who I am, and what I participate within my mind creates the experience in my physical body. And so rather than investigating what has been accepted and allowed that thus creates an outflow consequence on/in/as the body, we just take a pill to deal with the issue, not realizing there is something deeper to dis-cover.

How we allow our patterns of pain to persist is in how we resist DEALING with the actual problems that create the pain in the first place.  Instead of getting to the root of the problem - finding the thought patterns we keep going back to, finding the emotional energy we flood our body with, or some memory we can't let go of that has all these positive or negative attachments to it that distract us from fully living presently - we just resist the pain, take the pill and call it a day. But sure enough, we go through the experience again, and again we repeat the "solution" - take the pill, resist the pain, and call it a day.

Why not deal with the problem... actually get to the bottom of it, find out the real issues, and sort those out - release ourselves from them, forgive ourselves, allow ourselves to heal, to let go, and to thus be able to move on with our lives - stopping the patterns. That is the real solution, and way to deal with dis-ease. Otherwise, we are allowing what we resist to persist.



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06 July 2017

551: Asking for Permission When you Fear going Against the Crowd

Recently I saw myself faced with a fear of 'going at it alone'. In a group setting, it can be scary standing out, drawing attention to yourself, and be willing to share some new ideas. For me, it was a need for others to agree, as to validate what I could see I could do - thinking I needed others to do it too. But of course, we are all alone. We are alone within ourselves and the direction we take, and the decisions we make. To lead or to follow.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I have to ask other's permission to start projects I see worth starting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I must get other's approval before I can carry on with something I see worth carrying on with

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to go against the consensus of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe I need others to tell me it's okay to do something I would like to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear other's criticism for implementing ideas I see worth implementing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I need others to move with me in order for me to move

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I cannot stand alone

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize what it means to actually stand alone - as standing as all as one - standing for all, and as all, in equality - doing what I see is best for all - being willing to be the one for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to share my ideas with others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to lead the way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a leader

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear going first

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being the only one doing something, and think without others agreeing and doing too to, it's not cool/worth it and I shouldn't dare to do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rather stay in the background, hidden amongst others instead of standing up and standing out and doing what I see is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'stay in my place' as the self-created position I've defined as where I must be - in the background, agreeing with others, following others, and not daring to branch out and creating something new

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a follower

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others telling me no - that my ideas are not good and think that that must be the final say and to within this, keep my mouth shut, not dare to speak up or speak out, or the share with others unconditionally what I see as my perspective, insights, and suggestions

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to explore myself and my ideas as not needing others to do it with me, but rather directing myself to see what's possible, what could work within/as my ideas, test them out and go from there

I commit myself to lead myself

I commit myself to no longer needing others to go first, or show me the way but rather trust in myself as my own self-direction to do and go and be and express what is necessary and best for all

I commit myself to not allow fear of others not agreeing with me stand in my way

I commit myself to not stand in my own way as fear of what others might think

I commit myself to trust myself

I commit myself to encourage my own ideas

I commit myself to be willing to go my own way as a point of self-trust in knowing that ultimately I am alone and I as all as one as equal must lead the way

I commit myself to not be afraid to go against the crowd if it means doing what is best for all

I commit myself to embrace standing alone as I am within/as myself




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