543: Realizations in Letting Go of a Dependency

**The most recent blogs, and ones to come are a few weeks old, as I have been writing, without publishing.

I have just completed a 21 day challenge of no coffee. I did it for myself - seeing how I had created a bit of dependency and love affair with coffee, acting as if I couldn't do without it, and so I made myself live without it, for 21 days at least.

The first few days were physically uncomfortable, though not unbearable. I did expect some discomfort, almost like letting go of a relationship you have depended on to always be there for you. That was the major point I saw in terms of who I was in relation to coffee, or rather how I defined coffee in relation to me... like a comfort, a friend, a companion I could always count on in the sense that it always tasted good, gave me a nice feeling, and so I trusted it. Though, there is a problem when we create such a relationship towards something like that externally from ourselves - it, as I mentioned, can create a dependency. Of course - you can see that something such as coffee, or anything really, as something trustworthy, or comforting, but it really boils down to who you are within it. For me - I 'needed' it, or at least I thought I did.

So I had to walk through letting go of that relationship - that comfort, and bring that word back to myself in terms of seeing how and where, and when I could live comfort for/as myself, and not needing it to exist in something outside of myself to give me that sense of comfort. When it's external, it's just an experience, it's not real in fact. The only thing we can really count on is ourselves, and if we are living comfort, as who we are, in what we do, and how we express, comfort is always with us, because it's who we are.

So that was a cool point.

Another aspect I found interesting was I walked the 21 days, and after the first 3 days, there was not much a challenge anymore. While I would have liked to have coffee, I was okay to be without it. It was nothing I anticipated, or expected, like I foresaw it as being this hard, troublesome experience I would really have to push through, and fight in a way, to not drink coffee.

But I did it, and I was fine. I was stable. It was no thing to say no, not now, not yet. I will go without it. And so I found that I had the expectation that is was going to be this long, arduous journey when in fact, I made a decision, and I walked that decision. Simple as that. It made me think of how much we create the ideas in our minds of not being able to give something up, or to live without something, or to change something about ourselves... that it would be the worst thing EVER and so we avoid stopping, or changing simply because we want to avoid the experience we fear. But it's a fear, and fears are made to be walked through.

Are you wanting to change something, start something new, stop a bad habit, or practice a new discipline but you FEAR the experience of stepping outside of your comfort zone? Well may I suggest to stop feeding the fears as if they are valid, and consider you wont know actually how it will go until you physically do it. May not be as bad as you think. And then - you have the reward of challenging yourself.

Challenges don't have to be hard, or difficult, or uncomfortable. They are simple a dare to ourselves to expand, change, and step out of a limited version of ourselves. And you know - challenges may be hard, you may in fact face the most difficult, uncomfortable experience of your life in changing/stopping a habit... but at least you will start facing the truth of yourself, and the dependency you've created on something other than you. That alone is worth taking a look at.

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