behavior of mine flare up in a way - where I'm participating in it more and more. In the past it would then trigger judgments, and frustration because what the heck - I'm allowing this behavior when I'm in fact supposed to be changing it.
Though I've seen this before.. where you are in a way working with a particular point to change, then it all of a sudden seems like you no longer have control over it, and the behavior/pattern has a mind of it's own... this has happened when I've been actually directly working on such a point with the use of Mind Constructs in the Desteni I Proccess.
Mind Constructs are a specific tool which allows one to dig deep into the roots of certain behaviors... sourcing the memories of our life where we have through time created and substantiate the behaviors/patterns that are now playing out in our life. I have been working on this particular behavior that I've noticed flare up for the past few weeks... so it actually doesn't surprise me it's coming up more as me living it out.
It's been actually cool because there are more dimensions of the behavior I've identified only in the past few weeks of living out the behavior, and so I get a better grasp on all that influence me in acting it out.
So just a note - don't be so quick to judge yourself if you see you are participating more in a behavior you are attempting to stop/change. Rather consider perhaps if you are working more directly with it, it's more at the surface of what you are facing.. it's more 'here', and in that you can actually gift yourself with seeing more of it - what thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories it consists of as that which you forgive to release yourself from the pattern.
So it's been cool actually for me to see a moment where I could have reacted to what's being accepted and allowed, but rather I realized I'm facing it more directly - working with it more specifically, and so getting to know it better, and myself better as the pattern/behavior. I have often judged myself for accepting and allowing things as a point of morality as 'that is bad' and "I should not allow this" but in that judgment, I dis-empower myself to change it because I'm separating myself from it. The patterns and behaviors I live out are me, and the reasons for why they exist, exist within me - so rather embrace what is HERE as ourselves, as our behavior/patterns to better understand, and thus FORGIVE to change. We cannot fight our minds expecting them to just go away or change. We have to be the ones directing it, and we direct it through forgiveness.. through understanding, through removing all judgments towards it to see the totality of it.
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