26 January 2017

532: Expanding Awareness Beyond a Blog

The other day I again found myself at the grocery store. This time, as I was walking around - the point I have been writing about the last few days wasn't at all in my awareness. I didn't even think about it until I leaned in to grab something that a couple people were standing in front of, and as one of them turned toward me, she said "whoa, Jesus."

lol - I took this as perhaps meaning she was surprised, and didn't expect me there. And perhaps I could have given it a moment before I leaned in to grab my item. I didn't think about it until after that moment, and considered - did I move too fast? Could I have given them a moment?

I can see simply by the fact that I was unaware of the point I have been making for myself recently - in terms of becoming more aware of my movements and walking speed, to be more deliberate and specific when I'm out in public with how I'm moving, I could have given it a moment. I rushed in there to get my item, not allowing myself to be patient, and not create a situation where I was in someone else's space, and they were startled by me. Not that that is such a severe consequence, I simply see it as something for me to consider, and to push to become more aware about when I'm out and about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not bring this awareness of a point I would like to work on and with in my process of change, outside into my physical reality - when I'm interacting with others, and instead allow it to remain as a blog that I write about... not actually real-time change

When and as I see myself leaving the house to go out somewhere, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that here is where I must establish myself as self-awareness as walking the commitments I've made to direct myself when in public to be more directive, and deliberate with my physical movements and speed. And so I commit myself to continue to focus on this point of physical awareness within me throughout my day - especially when I leave the house - to practice my awareness and specificity in my physical movements and interactions with others.



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