529: Awareness within the Automated Body

Following up from yesterday's blog, I was talking about this point of walking, and how I've come to walk quite fast in my life. I can see this has been developed through the type of work I do, yet it had spilled over into my every day life, when I'm simply out and about walking around - I am speeding.

So I can see that walking fast has a purpose in a specific context, but I am interested in seeing who I am as slowing down within my walking. As I mentioned, I will share my findings and experiences as I apply it, for now though, self-forgiveness on the lack of questioning and self-direction when walking:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop a fast walk without awareness - without ever questioning it but simply allowing a habit to take over apparently without my directive decision

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to slow down when walking when there is no purpose to walk fast, except to automatically live out habits from work

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to ever question myself when I am speed walking throughout my day when out and about, but simply to accept it as 'who I am' or 'how I walk'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept such a stance in everything I do - not questioning myself as the origin of the patterns and physical behaviors I've come to create as myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider slowing down when walking as a point of not getting to my destination, but to enjoy the journey

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perhaps miss moments of breath/being here when I walk fast through life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people when they are slow walking as 'in the way' and 'ignorant' to people around them - when I'm in fact the one ignorant to people and things as my environment around me when I am rushing through walking and thus in the way of my own awareness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not yet utilize the full potential of my psychical body such as the ability it has to reveal to me programmed mind patterns that are unlocked and unleashed when/as I apply a change in my physical body/movement/behavior that is a stray of it's automation

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand how my physical body doesn't move just because... there is a source, a reason, an origin point in my life wherein I developed quite specifically how and why I move myself the way I do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain unaware of each and every single physical movement I make within/as my physical body - not seeing the whole reality existent as to why I move the way I do

I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to slow myself down enough to start questioning and seeing the purpose of each physical movement as what it is revealing about me, about who I am as thought, word, and deed - to see what is exactly here as myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider the reality that is here as my mind and how it influence my psychical body and how it is revealed in my the movements I make in EVERY SINGLE MOMENT of breath

When and as I see myself walking fast outside of work, where walking fast is not necessary, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that there are times when walking fast is necessary, though not in all moments and so I commit myself to start slowing down the speed of my walk as a point of awareness, of directive principle to see what exists within the automation of walking fast as the process of getting to know myself better

I commit myself to reveal to myself different mind patterns existent within my physical body through deliberately changing my physical behavior - the way I stand, the speed of my walk, how I sit, where I put my hands - testing and playing with various ways in which I can see who I am when I change my physical body from what I normally/automatically do

I commit myself to investigate the origins of my physical behavior as to why I do what I do, in those moments when it seems most naturally, or automatic, to start uncovering the layers of the mind in the physical

I commit myself to get to know the reality within me I have yet to allow myself to be aware of yet which is existent within the physical body - in how I move, hold myself, and stand

I commit myself to walk the process of correcting my physical behavior as daring to stand, walk, place myself in physical positions I'm not use to, or that I don't normally do as a point of seeing who I am in the change, of getting to know myself better, and to expand the potential here within/as my physical body - releasing myself form the constraints of the mind patterns that has formed and shaped and moved me as my body



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