11 January 2017

521: Dishonesty Dwells in the Mind

For today - the point of believing you are letting go of a relationship from the past, yet you actually aren't because you are still thinking and imagining things about them - as well as the dishonesty we dwell in when we say things in our minds to others that we would not say to their face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to back chat about others in my life, imagining what I would say to them in various situations, or based in certain contexts - but stemming from one interaction with them that I then attempt to gain the upper hand/position

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest with myself by thinking I am letting go of a relationship/person in my life but then continue to hold on to them as back chat conversations in my mind about/towards them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be manipulated by the mind, by myself, and others as abdicating one's responsibility and accountability for who one is and the actions of their lives

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to unconditionally let go of old relationships/the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto past relationships despite them not being best for me, as an attempt to hold on to who I was in the past

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to unconditionally embrace what is here as the present, as the people, as the circumstances, and work with that - as the actual reality rather than holding onto, and existing in the past of things that have already passed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say things to people within my mind when I'm not willing to say the same things to their face - yet justify the back chat as me being right... though we must beg the question... if I was so right wouldn't I say it directly to the person? Why do I rather hide within the mind behind the veil of self-righteousness?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide within myself/my mind as me being right, but actually only dwelling in my own self-dishonesty because I would not dare say to people what I imagine saying to them within my mind

When and as I see myself telling myself I've let go of a relationship - but continue to allow thoughts and back chats about them/towards them within my mind, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that if I were actually letting go, I would not be allowing myself to entertain myself with thoughts about them and so I commit myself to stop all thoughts, and back chats that come up within my mind about particular relationships I am deciding to let go and simply let myself actually LIVE the letting go by releasing them from me as my mind

When and as I see myself imaging how and what I would say to others, based on a past moment with them, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that majority of what I think I would never dare say to someone's face and thus is a self-dishonest act and so I commit myself to stop all dishonesty as the thoughts and back chats of my mind and rather stick to my real-time, breath by breath living - letting go of the attempt to be right in my mind, yet not right enough to say it out loud in the physical

I commit myself to get real, and stop thinking about others and instead worry about myself

I commit myself to let go of the toxic relationships within my life - not as a blame, but as a self-honoring - and creating what which I want in my life

I commit myself to stop allowing people to manipulate their way into my life and remove them if they do not stand as what is best for all

I commit myself to let die within me the memories I've attempted to hold onto that secure me in the past, and instead embrace the present - what is here, who I am, and where I am as THAT is where I can actually re-create myself from





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