06 January 2017

517: Don't Just Ignore What Actually Happened!

I have for long believed when there are conflicts or disagreements with others, you just simply don't talk about it - at least not the real stuff...  I have in moments of conflict or argument gone silent - sometimes for day, and then after some time simply engage with the person again yet without speaking of what had happened. To me this is suppression, and does not nurture real relationships. We must be able to address what happened, what is going on, deal with it, forgive it, and let it go... we must become solution-oriented people, and that starts with being willing to face and acknowledge the issues, and not run away from them, pretend they don't exists, and hope they will just go away

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid communication with others when there has been a disagreement or conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore and suppress the play-outs of conflict with others, and after not talking for awhile, start again yet without dealing with what has been done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within avoiding communication - not facing or dealing with the relationships and moments I have with others - especially in the face of conflict or disagreements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a way of avoidance as not sorting out points and moments of conflicts I have with other people, and instead pretend in never happened

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear acknowledging through communication with others, that there has been conflict or disagreements and instead just stop talking to them for awhile, and then simply pretend all is well and nothing ever happened if/when the communication begins again

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to nurture myself as directive principle through communicating through problems and disagreements and conflict with others as actually taking care of what is here - facing it, dealing with it, and thus finding solutions so as to be able to continue daily living without buried resentments and discomfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable when in conflict with others, and to then want to avoid this discomfort as simply not talking to them

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to develop being more directive within communication - especially when there has been conflict or disagreements - to ensure I am able to speak clearly and effectively where I am, and how I experienced myself as sharing openly as to give understanding to a situation, and thus support others to do that as well to face the reality of what happened, and why, how it can be resolved, and how it can be prevented in the future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question the family programming wherein we do not speak about conflict, we just bury resentments, and anger towards each other, but do not address why or what happened - but then continue attempting to sustain a relationship with a foundation that is filled with experiences that do not provide a clear standing in relation to each other

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think not communicating when there is conflict is a valid solution or way to handle disagreements or conflicts

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that not communicating about conflicts is the only thing one can do, based on how I was taught through communication in my family - you avoid, and ignore, and pretend and do not speak directly about things going on within yourself or in relation to others

When and as I see myself not talking to someone based on conflict or disagreement, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that stopping communication is a form of suppression and not a valid way to handle conflict and disagreements in any relationships and so I commit myself to when there is a conflict disagreement with others, give myself the space to stabilize through writing and self forgiveness so that I'm not speaking in reactions - but to then speak to them, and 'clear the air' in a way - to face, and deal with, and resolve any issues as a way of directing myself and my relationships with others.

When and as I see myself resisting or avoiding talking to people about conflicts or disagreements between us, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this too is a form of suppression, and programming within a nature of me I've accepted and allowed that thinks and believes this is how one handle conflict and disagreement in relationships - basically running away. I commit myself to thus stop, and stand up, and direct myself to communicate with others when/as conflicts and disagreements arise - to share openly about myself, what I experience, and how I see we can resolve any issues, as well as supporting others to do this as well.

I commit myself to face conflict and disagreements in my life and not be afraid of them

I commit myself to nurture myself as directive principle by addressing issues or problems with others face to face



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