28 June 2016

462: Desire for Quick Fixes and Instant Change

Continuing on from the previous blog where I discussed various points in relation to change and creation - the process, and the manifestation. Here and blogs to follow will be on the points I see needing some re-alignments and self-honest perspective to get me back on track in terms of living change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within/as wanting quick fixes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within/as expecting quick fixes and instantaneous change

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, and realize the physical space and time in how it works, and what it takes to create changes, and fixes, and to rather instead want things to move fast

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to embrace the pace of breath by breath living as an exquisite opportunity to slow time down, and to work moment by moment and realizing all that can be accomplished, changed, created, and manifested with such time available

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that to want something to happen fast – to expect instant results, and quick fixes, is to exist within the mind – to start within a point of/as the mind which moves quantum speed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question the pace in which humanity currently lives, which is seen through drive-thru food, instant streaming online, constant uploads of pictures and posts on the internet – that to expect such instant results in my process of physical space does not exist in the context of the quantum mind speed, but rather within physical space and time – slowly but surely, moment to moment, breath by breath, 1 plus 1 accumulating change…. Nature is an example. A tree grows and changes yet you don’t see it sprout and move fast… it is a slow but sure process of accumulation – day by day

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see nature as the example in which I can apply within my own life as the process of change, transformation, and growth… to do what I can each day to accumulate the change I would like to see, and the living application I see within and as my potential

When and as I see myself wanting and expecting quick fixes, and instantaneous change, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that such a stance and starting point exists within/as the mind and so in separation of REAL physical space and time in how things actually are created, transformed, and changed…. Slowly but surely, moment to moment, breath by breath. And so I commit myself to ground myself within my physical body, within this physical existence, to walk equal to and one with what I see as nature… the slowly but surely accumulation of getting things done, of transformation, creation, and change. I commit myself to practice breath by breath living and slowing myself down to align with physical space and time and thus maximizing the opportunities I have as the time available breath by breath

I commit myself to see, realize, and understand and thus LIVE what it means to be physically grounded and aligned t physical reality as per the time it takes to change, transformation, and create

I commit myself to BE nature in how I apply and live myself

I commit myself to ground myself out of the mind, and into my physical body, my physical breath, as the real indicator of physical time and so what is possible when we utilize REAL time to the best of our ability




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21 June 2016

461: You Don't Have to be an Outsider - Invite Yourself In

Have you ever had that experience of being the outsider? Feeling excluded from the group, you just don’t fit it, and cannot connect as seemingly easy as others seem to do?

I have. Most of my life, as a child, a teenager, in my twenties, and even now and then I have this experience where I’m just on the outside of what others are ‘in on’. Like I somehow am the one looking in, standing outside of the group, or the conversation. The experience has varied throughout my life. In my twenties I suppressed the feeling by participating in social norms like going out drinking, and going to parties, putting on the facade of creating relationships with others, like I was a part of something, though of course, it wasn’t real and just pretend in a way to deny the actual experience which was when I was alone, or sober, I felt as if I wasn’t a part of anything really.

In the last few years an interesting realization came up though. I was standing again in a group setting, where I was a part of a group – there was work for us to do, relationships to build, different projects to partake in, and yet I still saw others as part of the click I didn’t get the special invite to. What I realized though in this situation was that it wasn’t actually them that were causing this feeling…. That they were not the problem, and I actually had the power to change this.

Here I was thinking others had it easy – they seem to socialize easier, were more comfortable in group settings, and in that, shined even so stood out among everyone. And so I felt excluded… that others paid more attention to other people. That I was on the outs because I wasn’t like the ‘cool’ kids (lol, like in school all over again). I suppose I was still playing the popularity game, and I wasn’t winning.

Again though, what I was to realize that there was nothing being done to me by the group. There was nothing the group was doing to specifically exclude me or make me feel like I was on the outside. There was nothing any one individual was even doing to make this my experience…. It was all inside of me. And so looking at this experience, and the situation I realized this….

If I wanted to be included, and no longer feel like I’m separated, or on the outs of the group, I had to include myself. I had to be the one to make the decision to approach the group, to engage in conversation, to be part of the discussion, and the various projects. I had to stand up and say hey, here I am, here is what I have the share. And it wasn’t about being the center of attention, or wanting others to notice me… it was simply realizing that I was the one causing, accepting, and allowing my own experience of being the outsider.

I essentially had to invite myself in.

So this was quite a cool point to realize… that I had the power to decide for myself to no longer be the outsider. To no longer participate in thoughts that suggested there was something wrong with me that others didn’t want to include me, or that there was something wrong with the group that made me feel like I wasn’t invited. I had the decision to be practical in seeing that if I wanted to be part of something, I would have to play my part – to include myself, to invite myself in.

This was the most supportive realization for me, nurtured by the responsibility I see I have to myself; to who I am, what I think, what I say, and how I act. I am fully, absolutely, in all ways responsible for myself, my experience, and so my expression and so if I want something to be different, or want something to change… I will have to be the one to do that. And so I did.

I made it a point to engage with others more, to not exclude myself based on an idea that I was not wanted, or not invited. I gave myself permission to be present, to participate.

So something I wanted to share here – the solution to being the outsider. Many people experience this with varying degrees of extensiveness, though the solution is essentially all the same. YOU. ME. We have to be the ones to find solutions for ourselves. If we find we feel like we are an outsider… then we must investigate why. What are the thoughts? What are the feelings? Where is there self-dis-empowerment taking place? Victimization? Self-definitions? That is OURS to clean up with self-forgiveness, and correct with commitment statements… and then to apply it. To live it. To live the acceptance and allowance of who you are and whether you will always see yourself as different, as less than, or more than, as on the outside, or whether you are equal in your value as a human being, as a social creature, as a participant within this reality. Insert yourself into what is going on… make yourself known, make yourself present.

A gift only you can give to you.




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20 June 2016

460: Change and Creation - Slowly, but Surely

Not long along I began writing about an experience I had in relation to quick fixes, and instant gratification – where frequently I could see my starting point for doing something, or changing something, or applying a new habit, or stopping an old one, was existing within the point of desire – wanting it to happen NOW.

I realized, through writing about this, that change doesn’t happen like that. It’s a process. That’s why we call what we do within Desteni a process – because it takes time. It takes discipline, and commitment, and application daily to change yourself; a habit, an addiction, a pattern, a routine, an experience. We have space and time to work with – and while I could see this not long ago, it has come up again for me to re-visit.

What does it mean to create? We often fixate ourselves on the end result – the desire to have or be someone different… and we focus on that as being the most important part, when in reality – it’s the process. It’s the physical actions that accumulate the result, and that is what we call the creation Process. That is where our focus, and attention must be; that is where our efforts must be channeled.

So I’m going to share some previous writings on this to give more understanding into the experience of wanting something different quick, and how it doesn’t actually, and can’t ultimately work that way.

May 19th, 2016
How do I experience myself at the moment? There is a mix between a want and a resistance to write.

Often I look for quick fixes, and instantaneous change, and often this will be my starting point for something I apply or move myself to do. Though, often the pattern that plays out is me not sticking with it.

So for instance with writing – the want is a change in my experience, empowerment from the act. Though it’s tainted with a quick fix desire. After one session of writing I want to see results. A similar point exists within exercising. But, when that doesn’t happen… because it can’t happen, that’s not how space and time currently work, I often quit before results are produced.

The experience or thoughts within that are such as, “it’s not working,” or, “nothing is happening,” or simply the lack of positive experience from no quick fix/change implies nothing is happening.

But really, what is not happening is the mind energy/experience… No-thing. Rather the work is in the physical, slowly but surely accumulating, and the time is evidence of the effort, which results from the process.

So rather than moving from a starting point of “want for a quick fix/change” it should be, or could be an understanding of what it means to change, and create.

The want for something to change quickly, or to see the evidence of change fast is like an attempt to prove something to oneself or others.

It’s like I want to be different than who I am, and in the hopes my experience will be better or I will be better. And in this, it’s as if I am suppressing who I really am, in self-honesty, not embracing and facing the real me that I am trying to change so fast.

Though I realize until I do face, and embrace this me, I will never change.

So rather denying this me, and want to quick change me, how to prove I can and I am better than this me, I’m running from. I must slowly but surely walk the space, and time process of unfolding, seeing, understanding, forgiving, and start living. I can’t expect change overnight, or from one night of writing. I must walk the change consistently and create it as me, as who I am naturally.

**So the key here… creation, and change, is a PROCESS. The end results you see on other’s Facebook wall of them graduating, or getting a new job, or getting married, or whatever they are showing to you to say hey, look at this... look at what I created… there was days, months, maybe even years put into it. Thing’s don’t magically just change, or show up, or transform – life is a process, creation is a process and while we like to focus on the end results and get our praises, and positive feelings from it… the truth is in the Journey. What it took to create. The Process.

So patience to slowly but surely, consistently committing to oneself, to create oneself to be the best version of self. That is what this Journey is all about.

More blogs to follow up with as there are ideas of myself, beliefs, and patterns needing to be sorted in the above writing.  Till next time.




Featured Artwork by: Marlen Vargas Del Razo and other Desteni Artists

The Journey to Lifers

Take Responsibility for what is HERE as this world, within AND without:

Desteni

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Eqafe (Self Perfecting interviews, books, music, etc)


For your Info:

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