10 December 2016

512: Me at Work

One thing I've noticed about myself lately is this lack of awareness while at work. A couple nights ago this was exemplified by the fact that while standing with some people, I took slight movement backwards, and I tripped and fell right on my butt. It was quite the scene too - like overly dramatic was the fall. lol - it was funny, and I did my best not to take it personally, or feel embarrassed, because it was just an accident, it happened.. nothing to do about it now, except notice and question why did I fall? Why was I not aware of what was behind me, why was I not aware of my environment in that moment, and so how to move myself in a way where I wouldn't fall?

This experience shed a light on something I've been slowly realizing more and more, which is that I often lack the self-awareness, and the slowing down within myself, to really take notice, and pay attention to who I am at work - as my thoughts, my words, and my deeds. I've noticed that I require to be an example at work, as the solution to some of my conflicts with other people, though I also need to take notice, and understand why I say certain things, or participate in certain conversations at work, that do not support me or others, but only validates and justifies our current level of existence... where most of us are absolutely unaware of ourselves in a single moment, as our thought, words, and deeds.

So something I am going to begin working on more diligently - who am I at work? Who am I in relation to my co-workers? Who am I in my work environment? How do I move? How do I speak to others? How do I engage with others? and most importantly... why? What are my starting points for who I am at work?

I realize it will be a process, but it's clear I'm in need of becoming more aware at work... to start working on myself while at work, to slow down, to breathe, to be aware of when I speak, how I speak, and why I speak. To be aware of my environment, and those within it I work so closely with. To settle the conflicts within myself in relation to some people I work with, and to implement solutions that not only support me, and others, but that are also examples of how each one can change and create a working environment that is not only best for ourselves, but for all of us. So starting with myself here... getting to know 'me at work', and how I can change that 'me at work'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be unaware of myself while at work... not paying attention to who I am, as my thoughts, my words, and my deeds.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to slow down at work, enough so that I can start to notice, and understand why I say or do certain things while at work that I later sometimes regret or wish I hadn't done or said

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in conversations while at work that do not support myself or others to change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move so fast at work, I don't take notice or pay attention to who I am, as my thoughts, my words, and my deeds while at work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to run on auto-pilot while at work wherein I am not directing myself but instead being directed my my thoughts, feelings, and emotions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to literally fall at work while not being aware or paying attentino to myself, and my surroundings, and knowing exactly how to support myself in the environment and thus not allow myself to trip over things

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to focus more on breathing at work as a point of self-support to establish my self-awareness while at work

When and as I see myself saying or acting in ways at work that I know I will later regret, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that such behavior is sustained from my lack of self-awareness and existing within auto-pilot and so I commit myself to take notice in those moments why I chose the words I did, or the actions/behaviors that I did as a point of better getting to know and understanding myself as who I am at work

I commit myself to become more aware of myself while at work

I commit myself to become more aware of my work environment

I commit myself to slowing myself down while at work

I commit myself to wlak the process of changing myself as the 'me at work'





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