21 November 2016

503: When Curiosity Becomes Gossip

Today while talking to a friend, I asked her about some mutual friends of ours... I was curious about some developments in their relationship. The friend I was speaking with suggest I ask them myself. I stood back within myself in this moment realizing I was being deceptive in a way, because why had I not just asked the source directly? Why did I go around them, and ask our mutual friend? Why was I not willing to go to the source of what my curiosity was about?

I could see I felt it was inappropriate, as I considered if they wanted to share some information about their life, they would. But because they hadn't, they were not yet ready. Yet I still justified my want to know, and so asked another friend of ours. A big red flag here... if I couldn't go direct to the source, I shouldn't be seeking the information in the first place.

So was a lesson for me today - gossip is still gossip, even if it's not nasty, or negative in nature. If you are unwilling to ask or speak to someone directly, especially about them, you have no business talking about them when they are not around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in gossip while not calling it gossip because I define it as speaking 'positively' about others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk about others when they are not around - asking specifically about those not around, but wanting to know about others as asking questions about them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel as though I can't ask people directly about their situation/life yet feel it's okay then to go around them, and ask other people in their life about them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define it as inappropriate to ask someone directly about their lives, about certain situations of their life, yet think it's then okay to go ask someone else in their life to get the information I'm curious about

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that if I am not willing to ask the source directly about something in their life, I shouldn't be willing to go to another person in their life, to find out more about them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define gossip as something only negative, when in truth, it can be anything your not willing to say to one's face, yet are willing to say to others about them when they are not around

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I have a right to information about other people's lives because of my own curiosity, yet instead of being direct and asking someone about their life, go to another person who is more intimate in their life to find out the information I am curious about

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider other people in what they want to share about themselves, as seeing if they wanted people to know certain aspects of their lives, they would probably share it, yet to disregard this consideration just to feed my curiosity and so go to another person in their life to find out what I want to know

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only consider my own curiosity instead of how other people experience themselves, and where they are with sharing certain information, and to respect where other's are in what they do or don't share, and not to impose my own expectations of satisfying my curiosity

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stand in another shoes, and ask myself, 'would I want someone to ask someone else about my life, or would I want them to come and ask me directly?' as giving as I would like to receive, and treating others the way I would want to be treated... I would rather have someone ask me directly about aspects of my life, instead of going around me to ask someone else who may know information about me

When and as I see myself wanting to ask people about other's in their life, but that is not the actual source of what I want to know, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that gossip is gossip, and no matter how 'positive' you define it, it is still an act of not speaking directly with someone, but rather speaking about them when they are not around, and thus cannot add their perspective to the communication. And so I commit myself to not speak about others when they are not around, especially if I am not willing to speak to them directly about that which I'm curious about.

When and as I see myself not willing to speak to others about certain information I'm curious about, yet then want to go ask someone else for that information, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that if I'm not willing to speak to the source directly, I have no business to speak about them at all. And so I commit myself to do unto another as I would like done unto me and dare to speak directly to people, especially if it's about them, and not make up my own mind or use a third parties mind just to satisfy a curiosity.

I commit myself to stop all forms of gossip

I commit myself to speak directly to people, and if I'm not able to, don't talk about them at all

I commit myself to consider other people, and not just myself, when it comes to what one wants to share about their life

I commit myself to treat others the way I want to be treated






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