19 November 2016
501: The Most Empowering Moment of My Life
This is a moment in my life I will never forget because it was understanding those words that I experienced things coming together for the first time in my life that actually made sense. All the previous knowledge, and information I had, all the ideas and beliefs I participated in, everything I wanted to know, but didn't yet... was placed so perfectly in that understanding. My search was over.
I had grown up to believe in God, initially the Catholic God, but really all the same in the context of religion. An almighty God that rewards those that are good, and punishes those that are bad. A god that sent a son for humanity to be saved, and through him we could be forgiven. My religious context of god evolved throughout my life to become more of a universal god - one that was not limited or bound by any one religion, and that had nothing really to do with Jesus or anything, simply that there was a creator of everything, and that creator had something intended for me in my life. I become quite obsessed with aligning with this almighty creator, and understanding it's existence, and how I could interact and move in my world to get everything I wanted... thinking this is what was best for all existence, for me to align to my higher self that was one with this creator.
So in a way I was for a long time waiting for a sign, a message, a direction to be given unto me from some almighty 'high'. I was also smoking a lot of weed at this time, lol - so I was tapping into some highness.
I had submitted myself to some grand design, to some creator, to some already made path for me to just align myself with. But those words.... "YOU are responsible for yourself, and this world. What is 'out there', is within you. As within, so without." I was very quickly grounded in this moment. The war, the poverty, the neglect, the corruption, the greed, the evil 'out there', actually existed within me, to some degree or another. So instead of praying for someone else to 'save the world' and bring solutions, I was shaken to see the nature of humanity was the nature of humans, the individual, and I was an equal participant. I had a responsibility to how the world 'out there exists' because if I took a self-honest look within my own mind, I would see the same nature existing 'in here'. As within, so without.
The need, the search, the want for something 'out there' to 'show me the way' stopped in that one moment. I had heard throughout my experience with religion and spirituality many things that were until this moment, not grounded in reality at all. I didn't know how to practically live anything I learned or understood, and didn't even know that was an aspect that was missing. Until I heard those words.
For me it was the biggest wake up call. All of a sudden I was face to face with MYSELF as the one I was looking for/searching for/wanting to get to know. All of a sudden I realized the purpose of my life, of THIS life for everyone. It was to stop looking outside of ourselves, and start realizing OUR responsibility in the creation of this world, within and without.
I realized that if I wanted this world to change, I needed to change myself first. I realized that if I wanted to go in a certain direction in my life, I had to direct myself through my actions. I realized that no one would, or could EVER save me... there was no Jesus coming, there was no awakening for all of humanity, there was no higher love that would save us. We were here, left within our own creation, for the simple purpose of realizing WHO WE ARE as Creation. To face what we've created as ourselves, and our world. To see the degree of separation we've accepted and allowed, and how in our own power, we created ourselves to be enslaved... enslaved to our minds (thoughts, feelings, emotions), to our society, to our family, to money, to work, to our lack of knowing, seeing, and realizing that we are in fact equal and one. And in that equality and oneness is each one's RESPONSIBILITY to the whole. Imagine what kind of world we would live if in each person stood within their responsibility to themselves, and to the whole?
This moment for me was just over 7 years ago now, and unlocked a process for me I swear I felt like I was waiting my whole lifetime for. The veil dropped, the awareness emerged, and here I was alone within my responsibility to this life, in this one life. To me it made absolute sense, and grounded me in a way I had never experienced before.
I was the key. I was the ONE I was looking for. I was the problem, and the solution.
While I see now some people do understand that level of self-responsibility they have within their individual lives, it was never something I understood at all. Being raised religious, and spiritual, there was always an aspect of something higher/better/bigger that had all the answers, and for me to have any kind of peace in this life, was to know this something higher/better/bigger. I was never taught that I was in all ways responsible for myself, in thought word and deed. And while such a stance can be challenging, as we so easily like to blame things on something external from ourselves, the freedom in realizing one's responsibility to everything inside of oneself, and who one is in relation to everything outside of oneself is something that may surprise you. It is a Gift.
No more waiting. No more hoping. No more despair. No more uncertainty. There is a level of calm when one is taking self-responsibility for everything in one's life because it is the source from which one can always seek solace, guidance, and direction. I am forever grateful for the Desteni Message, and the unconditional support I've received over the years through all of it's participants, and mostly for myself for trusting in myself enough to stand self-responsible, and empowering myself to take charge of who I am within my life, and so who I am as all as one as equal.
That is what I wanted to share tonight... the gift, the freedom, and the empowerment when one realize's one's self-responsibility. It is a process, but it is absolutely worth it.
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