25 October 2016

476: Defined By What You Don't Do - 30 Days of Blogging - Day 10

A couple blogs ago I opened up this point of defining myself according to what I do, or don't do. I also addressed this within self-forgiveness for the positive aspect - wherein I define myself as good/right/positive when I do more. Which clearly means nothing - you can do a whole lot of stuff, but if who you are inside is not aligned to what is best for all/yourself... then it really doesn't matter.

So for tonight, I will take a look at the negative aspect of this point... when I do less, I feel less about myself. Okay, here we go:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to what I don't do in a day - defining myself as less than the less that I do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for what I do or don't do in the day, and if I don't push to my utmost potential, and do more, feel inferior and shitty about myself - suggesting that what I do determines who I am, rather than who I am determining what I do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a failure if I succumb to experience of lethargy wherein I don't do as much within the day, defining myself according to what I didn't do, and suggest because of this, I've failed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that when I give into the experiences of emotions that dictate my actions, I am only a slave to those experiences, and so my life is dictated by how I feel, rather than principles such as self-responsibility, self-honesty, and doing what must be done in any given moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others in what I see, or hear about others doing with their life, and judge me as doing less, and so implying that I am less - instead of using comparisons constructively to see where I can apply what others do within my own life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within/as regret in knowing I can do more within my days, yet giving into experiences that dictate me not living and acting to my utmost potential throughout my days - and then to go and blame myself for not doing more, instead of investigating the experiences, find solutions to STOP them, and correct myself in my actions to ensure I am deciding who I am - one giving into the mind experiences, or being directive principles according to principles that are best for all/me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others for what they do, as I've judged myself for what I do... instead of seeing who people are, and seeing who I am, as the source from which they do what they do... within this understanding rather than judging and blaming

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame and judge myself as a bad person for moments when I do not act in ways that are best for me, such as pushing to do as much as I can within a day, realizing that I am able and capable.. instead of understanding how I've created this pattern within me, and find ways to implement a living change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that what I do does define me in that - if I'm allowing emotions to decide what I don't do, then I am a slave to the mind... I am giving in to an authority separate from who I really am, and not being present within/as my physical reality as I see, realize, and understand that if I was clear, directive within myself, applying principles of self-honesty as NOT allowing emotions to direct me, I would be more effective and productive within my day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on the external reality such as the actions I take, or don't take to define who I am, rather than giving attention and direction to the internal reality as my mind, in how I've come to make decisions, and the thought processes I accept and allow that are not the best version of me.... so I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to take absolutely full responsibility for what I do and don't do in realizing that if I allow my mind to direct my actions, then I am not living my most effective way

When and as I see myself defining myself according to what I don't do, as being inferior, less than, and shitty, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that I am not actually defined by what I do or don't do, but rather who I am and so I commit myself to investigate the 'who I am' that accepts and allows lethargy or being unmotivated to direct me, and practice not giving into such experiences as to be the one, within self-awareness, and self-honest, direct myself to live and express my utmost potential within/as my days

When and as I see myself comparing myself to others, and what they do, and get done, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that to compare myself as in putting someone as more or less is not constructive, and only dis-empowers me in not seeing the equality of value of each and how each can assist and support one other to live their utmost potential, and so I commit myself to compare constructively in seeing what others do, and how I can apply that within my own self, and life

When and as I see myself going into a point of lethargy or being unmotivated to continue within my day as effectively as possible, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that these emotional experiences are within me and so my responsibility to understand, and direct, rather than allow them to direct me and so I commit myself to practicing slowing down in moments where I want to give into to lethargy and being unmotivated, as I know the consequences of this, and rather I commit myself to prevent further consequences and direct myself to walk through these experiences instead of giving into them

I commit myself to continue to practice becoming directive principle of/as me in not allowing emotions and feelings, and the 'want' or 'not want to do' statements direct me

I commit myself to be the best I can be in all that do, and don't do in not allowing what I do or don't do define me, but rather focusing on the who I am within what I do, and don't do - ensuring THAT is a being I can stand by, trust, and live with

I commit myself to push myself to do more than I thought conceivable, as I see it's possible when directing self within/as breath - making each breath/moment count and thus living the days I have to their utmost potential, as I live my own






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