18 October 2016

469: They are Doing it already, so I Can't! 30 Days of Blogging - Day 3

To start - a little update from yesterday's blog.

Today I noticed the point come up again in regards to thinking about a topic. for my blog but instead of worrying about it, or becoming anxious on what I would end up writing, the correction immediately came up - specifically what I wrote about yesterday in terms of how I could change this reaction, and rather deal with it constructively. So while I thought about what I could write a blog about before it was time to even write a blog, there was no emotions attached  it it, and right away I told myself I will think of it in the moment - when I actually sit down to write a blog. Deal with it when the times come, and so now let it go. And I was able to. So that was quite a cool point in terms of having that correction 'in place' to support when the thoughts about a topic to write about came up again. Awesome to see so directly how those corrective statements do actually support - like a real time reference.

One point that has come up a lot in the past year - especially in relation to this process, and the whole group dynamic - is that when I've considered doing more blogging and vlogging, I will use the excuse that others have already done it to not do it myself.

For example. Say I want to start vlogging more. Then someone comes out with a 21 days of vlogging, or a challenge to record themselves more. I will think it's so cool they are doing it... yet I will use it as a point of self-disempowerment for myself. I will think, "well they are already doing it... I can't do it now" or "I don't want to look like I'm copying them" or "what's the point - it's already being done."

So it's like a point of comparison in that I will see others doing things I think about doing myself, but use the fact that 'they are already doing it' as an apparent reason I can't or shouldn't. I know it's absolutely absurd, but the fact that it has come up multiple times reveals it's something to consider and change.

The more the merrier from my perspective. It would be amazing if we had daily bloggers and vloggers going at it every day sharing common sense, and self-honesty, and principles that consider what is best for all. That is really how we are going to get more on board, and eventually change the world - showing how it's done through our own living example, and sharing our unique perspective. Because while there are so many of us walking process, and even more in this life, we so could perhaps overlap on certain topics... we all have our unique perspective and understanding to share. The fact that another person is doing something you would like to do for yourself should never be a reason you don't do it... if anything it should inspire you to do is also. If they can do you, so can you. It shows can be done.

So as far as I can see - the whole excuse that 'it's already being done' is not valid at all and should not be tolerated. It's just a scapegoat to keep oneself hidden, and in their comfort zone - not having to stand up and share... not having to face fears, or potential ridicule, or disagreement. Basically letting our ego get in the way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that because others are blogging and vlogging that means I shouldn't

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, "I don't want others to think I'm copying them" when I consider doing more blogs and vlogs yet I see others doing it before I have taken the action

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think "it's already being done" as if the blogging and vlogging world can be monopolized by only a few and thus that is all that is allowed to do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use other's process within blogging and vlogging as a point of self-disempowerment for myself wherein I tell myself I can't do it because they are already doing it... in this actually only comparing myself to others, and placing myself in a position as less then them, and thus not worthy to share myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others within process and see myself as inferior  as saying 'they are doing it, so I shouldn't' - as if to say their way is the only way, or the right way, and I should just be quiet

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own inferiority, insecurity and self-judgment unto others as thinking their activities online through blogging and vlogging is the reason I feel I can't step up more and share more... when really I'm using it only as a scapegoat to remain in the comfort of my own security as in being silent - not exposing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think if I don't expose myself then I wont be hurt as having to face my own insecurities, self judgments, and comparisons

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that my perspective is not worth sharing, and that if others are sharing, that's good enough instead of realizing I am here, and thus I have something to share - a unique perspective all individuals have, and if only all were to step up and share their common sense and their process of change as being a living example of what it takes - perhaps this world would change a little quicker

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to give myself permission to share openly, equally with others, without comparison but rather in addition to - adding to other's perspective, giving another dimension, or expanding on a point

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see others sharing within vlogging and blogging as a point of support for me - showing what is possible, and being an example to learn from

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more value to only a few within the group, and not myself, as the voices that should be heard

When and as I see myself existing within/as the back chat of, "they are already doing a blogging or vlogging challenge - or they have already shared on this point I wanted to share" I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that I am only comparing myself to others, and using it as a point to dis-empower myself, rather then empowering myself in seeing what is possible... and using others as the examples they are of what it takes, and what it means to live one's utmost potential. I commit myself to stop the back chats in my mind that only fuel the idea that I must compare, and that I must remain silent, and because 'they do it, I can't.'

When and as I see myself existing within/as the back chat, "it's already being done" in relation to others within the group sharing themselves within blogging, and vlogging, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand these irrational thoughts implies the internet has to be monopolized and only one or only a few are able to share their voice when in reality this process is about honoring and nurturing each one's unique voice, that is equal in value, yet different based on experience and can ultimately lead to the same outcome as realizing, and living what is best for all. And so I commit myself to stop thinking only a few should share, and rather see how I can expand and support myself to change through blogging and vlogging as nurturing my voice, my perspective, and my ability to communicate to others what is possible within/as our lives, and so this world

I commit myself to share regardless of what others are doing, as it's not about them, but about me... who I am within what I do, the starting point to who I am

I commit myself to share more openly about who I am, and the perspective I have as a point of honoring and nurturing my unique expression and perspective

I commit myself to stop dis-empowering myself when I see others sharing, and rather be grateful for the fact that there are people in this world willing to stand up, expose themselves, and share common sense, best for all perspectives



Featured Artwork By: Marlen Vargas Del Razo

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